Think Positive

Some days are a struggle to think positively.  Today seems to be one of those days, for me. 
I recently read an article that stated the results from a survey taken where one thousand people were polled.  This question was asked of each individual.  "What do you do at the beginning of your day to establish a positive mind set?"  There were a variety of answers but the overwhelming winner was, "I tell myself that the day is going to be good."  I about laughed right out loud because I thought that people were going to expect some sort of magical answer.  If I would have been polled, I would have been with the majority.  I firmly belief, (this was taught to me in my childhood by my parents) that each one of us has to be the controller of whether the day is good or bad.  Nobody else can dictate that outcome for us.
I have said it before but I have the luxury of being married to Mrs. Positive herself.  She knows what it means to have mind over matter.  I appreciate that outlook immensely.
For those who are reading this, today, who are having a less than extraordinary day, my advice to you is think of something that has blessed your life and changed who you are for the better.  There is that one time for all of us.  Sometimes we need to review our happiest times to remind us that life, is in fact, a pleasant existence.  Like the survey taught, "I tell myself that the day is going to be good!"  And it will be.
Those of you who are having a great day I applaud you for your effort in making the day what is. 
I must admit that just since I sat down to write this small piece, I already feel better about the second half of my day.  I appreciate my life and those people in it that bring me the greatest joy.  I have much to be grateful for and you do too.  Remember to make the most of the moments in your life.  They come and go so quickly.

Now That's Special

In 1987, I had the good fortune of witnessing an athletic performance that has had a profound impact on my life, particularly in regard to how I work with young people in teaching and coaching. 

I found a seat in front of the floor exercise area and enjoyed watching athletes of all ages and abilities perform their tumbling routines.  As the competition came to a close, the last participant was rolled onto the floor in a wheelchair.  Assisted by his coach, the athlete with Cerebral Palsy stood, and positioned himself in the middle of the floor.  Bent at the waist, his arms and legs severely contracted, I realized that every muscle in his body was fighting against his will to control them.  After helping him stabilize, the coach exited the arena with the wheelchair, leaving him standing alone, facing a full grandstand.  A hush tumbled over the crowd as if everyone was thinking, “What is he going to do?”  We had watched athletes run, jump, turn cartwheels, perform forward and backward rolls. I too wondered, “What could his constricted body possibly do?”  For several minutes all eyes were fixed on this young man, as he attempted to hold his body still.  He lifted his right foot, lost his balance, put it back down and steadied himself.  A few more long moments passed before he again tried to lift his foot with the same result.  At that moment, it was apparent that his floor exercise was to balance on one foot.  As if everyone in the stands realized this at once, the energy began to rise in anticipation and support for this courageous Special Olympian.  He tried twice more – gaining confidence with each attempt.  There was another lengthy pause before his fifth try. When again, summoning all the concentration he could muster to gain control of a body that had never followed instructions, he raised his right foot and balanced on his left for almost 5 seconds.  As his right foot came back to the floor, he slowly raised his fists in triumph, accompanied by a smile that lit the hearts of every spectator.  The crowd leapt to its feet with a deafening roar! Some people were crying. Some were smiling. Others stared with looks of amazement.  But, I knew in that moment that we all stood in appreciation and awe for having witnessed another human being’s courage, will and perseverance to achieve his personal best.  Rushing onto the floor, his coach wrapped him in a hug – he stood in her arms for several minutes soaking in the standing ovation.  Finally, she helped him back into the wheelchair and they exited the arena, leaving me, for one, feeling richly blessed.  (From an article written by Auburn Olympian Reita Clanton.) 

Our lives are filled with the 'feel good' stories.  We are encouraged to want to do better.  Our spirits are lifted to greater heights.  Experiences like this one force us to realize the things that are the most special.

Follow Your Instincts

There are many times when a choice has to be made and I hesitate because I'm not quite sure which direction I should go.  And I'm not necessarily talking about good versus bad.  Maybe the choice is good versus good.  Experience has shown that more times than not if I will follow my instinct, (God given gift) the decision I decide on ends up being what's best for me.
Our family attended Sacrament meeting today in West Jordan, Utah to listen to our niece as she spoke, prior to entering the Missionary Training Center, in Provo, Utah in two weeks as she embarks as a full-time missionary in the Indiana Indianapolis Mission.  She spoke of a church leader who counseled her to follow her instincts in relation to whether a mission was the right thing for her.  She spoke, today, with humility and gratitude.  We are excited for her opportunity to serve.
Each one of us has the opportunity to choose.  I hope that I will pay close attention to what my instinct says on any given days in my life.  God has built into each one of the us the ability to choose the things that we should do.  That internal compass will lead us to reach the potential that He knows we can.  The responsibility is ours and the rewards are great! 

I Love You

The words 'I love you' are three of the most important words.   Their meaning runs deeper than just the words alone.  They are the words that many people hear every day.  Some people haven't said 'I love you' in many years.
I was talking to Becky on the phone yesterday and the end of the conversation came.  I anticipated what the end of every conversation with her includes.  "I love you,"  Becky sincerely uttered.  I paused momentarily and replied, "I love you, too."  I got off of the phone and thought about the deep love that I feel for her.
Many years ago, a story was related to me about a young man who struggled with a personal battle that his father strongly disagreed with.  His father's pride stepped in to the point of disowning his own son. The man told him to leave his home and never return.  The mother's heart was broken and she watched her son leave.  A couple of years passed with no word from their son.  The son went his way and lived his life.  His heart was broken that his father no longer wanted to see him because of his personal decisions.  One day, a knock came on the door and to the mother's surprise, she opened the door to find her son standing on the front porch.  She wrapped her arms around him, overjoyed at his homecoming.  The father sat in the living room and upon hearing the sound of the familiar voice came to the front door.  He looked at his son and the anger instantly overtook him.  He sternly reminded his son of his words two years earlier.  He told his son to leave and never return.  The heartbreak in the son's eyes were more than he could personally take.  The father closed the front door, leaving his desperate son all alone on the front porch.  A few hours passed and the prideful man walked out to his barn behind the house.  As he opened the large barn door a wave of emotion overcame him.  To his astonishment, he found his young saddened son hanging from the rafter of the large barn with a rope around his neck.   His lifeless body spoke of the devastation in his heart.  He had longed to hear the healing words that his father could have spoken. 
I know that this story is probably an extreme one but I can't help but think of the importance it is to speak meaningful words of 'I love you'.  These words need not become only words spoken out of habit.  They are words that deeply penetrate when they're spoken with sincerity.  They are words that take on new meaning when actions accompany.  I want to be a better example of someone who truly loves and not just somebody who says that they love.  The impact we will have on people that we love will be far-reaching.  Our sincere love will break down all barriers.  Now is the time to let our love be known to those people that we care about the very most.  Now, is the time to love.

Can You Feel That?

This story ranks near the top of my favorite stories ever told.  I know that you have your own experiences that are just as meaningful.  Sit back and enjoy a good cry with me.  This story was told by President Gordon B. Hinckley, President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints until his death in 2008, about an experience in his father's childhood.

“An older boy and his young companion were walking along a road which led through a field. They saw an old coat and a badly worn pair of men’s shoes by the roadside, and in the distance they saw the owner working in the field.

“The younger boy suggested that they hide the shoes, conceal themselves, and watch the perplexity on the owner’s face when he returned.

“The older boy … thought that would not be so good. He said the owner must be a very poor man. So, after talking the matter over, at his suggestion, they concluded to try another experiment. Instead of hiding the shoes, they would put a silver dollar in each one and … see what the owner did when he discovered the money. So they did that.

“Pretty soon the man returned from the field, put on his coat, slipped one foot into a shoe, felt something hard, took it out and found a silver dollar. Wonder and surprise [shone] upon his face. He looked at the dollar again and again, turned around and could see nobody, then proceeded to put on the other shoe; when to his great surprise he found another dollar. His feelings overcame him. … He knelt down and offered aloud a prayer of thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife being sick and helpless and his children without bread. … He fervently thanked the Lord for this bounty from unknown hands and evoked the blessing of heaven upon those who gave him this needed help.

“The boys remained [hidden] until he had gone.” They had been touched by his prayer and felt something warm within their hearts. As they left to walk down the road, one said to the other, “Don’t you have a good feeling?” (Adapted from Bryant S. Hinckley, Not by Bread Alone, 95).

That story just makes me want to serve someone in need.  There are people who wait for people, like you and me, to help them.  Today is the day.

Do Your Best

In my high school Physical Education (P.E.) class there was a required run that all students had to do.  The run took up one whole class period, taking into consideration the duration it would take for everybody to complete it.  Your grade was based on a chart that listed your age and the amount of time that it took for you to complete the run.  Because our school mascot was the Rams, the run was called the RAM JAM.  In P.E. I thought that only an 'A' grade was acceptable.  There were some days when I would line up at the starting point of the RAM JAM and I couldn't stand the thought of having to run it.  I was never the fastest kid but I always wanted to get an 'A' grade.  Once the whistle was blown for me to start the run I dreaded it until a burst of energy would come over me and competition against the clock became my best friend.
Life is much like the RAM JAM.  There are certain things that don't seem the most exciting.  Sometimes those things turn out to be the very best.  
I work for the Boeing Company and I am a member of the team that builds the Main Instrument Panel in the cockpit of the 737 Commercial jet.  It is made up of many different sub-assemblies and every part is expected to be installed per the blueprint.  I have the desire every day to assemble and install every part, exactly as they are designed to fit together.  
I believe that doing my best allows a feeling of peace in my life.  I am trying to live my own life in a way that would be pleasing to those who care about me the most.  My personal measuring stick, when I do something in life, is whether Becky would approve of my actions.  I don't want to do anything that would embarrass her or anyone else in our family.  
Our RAM JAM of life deserves our very best effort.  Ready, Set, Go!

Life Is Great!

I recently observed something that, once again, solidifies my belief that life is very good.

In a local supermarket, I watched a man who was wheelchair bound.  He had no legs.  I wondered silently what the story was behind his legs.  I watched him closely.  He controlled the wheelchair with one arm and next to the wheelchair was the shopping cart.  He got around very well.  I noticed the strength in his arms.  He was an average size man but the smile on his face convinced me that life was pretty good for him.  I went about getting the things that I needed to get and thought nothing more about the man.  Iver the course of the time I spent shopping, the man had finished and gone out to his car.  When I came out of the store and got into my truck I noticed the man once again.  He loaded the groceries he had purchased in the back of a full-size van.  The van had double doors and he had both doors wide open.  I couldn't help but watch.  He got everything loaded into the van and shut the two doors.  He then wheeled his chair over to the passenger side of the van.  I watched him open the side door and a folded up lift engaged and lowered itself to ground level.  He wheeled himself up onto the lift and pressed a button that immediately began to lift him up to the floor of the van.  Without hesitation, I watched him pull himself from the chair and methodically fold his wheelchair and position it inside the van.  He shuffled himself to the driver's seat and then lifted himself up into the seat.  He reached toward the dashboard and obviously pressed another button.  The lift folded itself, this time into the van and then the side door automatically closed.

All of this in just a matter of minutes.  The whole time I watched this man do what he did with a smile of contentment on his face.  He accepted this routine as his life.

I am grateful for the example of this man.  I am grateful that people like him remind me that life is great!  I want to be the type of person that no matter what happens I can continue to smile. 

Taking The Time

There are some things in life that are fascinating to watch.  As a young boy, I would watch my dad tie his tie as he readied to go to church.  I was always amazed at how fast he could tie his tie. 

I still remember the day he taught me and my brother how to tie our ties.  Each of us had the tie we were going to wear around our neck and my brother and I watched and copied.  That is a memorable experience for me. 

I have shared that same experience with our two sons.  Brady is eleven and Danny is eight.  Both boys can tie a beautiful double Windsor knot!

I was missionary companions with a young man who was never taught to tie a tie.  His father tied his ties before he left on his mission and for the first eight months of his mission, all of his ties had stayed exactly how his father had tied them.  One of the pieces of instruction that my dad gave us boys was that part of taking care of a tie is the undoing of it when you are done wearing it.  Yep, you guessed it, I took the opportunity to teach my companion the proper care of his ties.  I untied each tie.  He was a little upset until I told him that I was going to teach him how to tie a tie, just like my dad had taught me.  So he and I grabbed the tie we were going to wear and together we tied until my companion knew how to tie his own tie.  He was pleased and so was I.

This seems like a very insignificant thing but for my dad to take the time to teach me how to do something that I would need for the rest of my life, is significant.

Whether it is tie tying, cooking, shooting hoop, taking the time to visit with somebody or helping someone do their yard work, the time that is spent to help someone else is priceless.

Take a moment today to do something for somebody else that lets them know how much they mean to you.  You'll be glad you did.

My Family

When I think about the greatest things in my life, my wife and children are at the very top.  I have been blessed with such a wonderful opportunity to be in love with a woman who enriches my life. As a young boy I would watch my parents, very closely, with the hope of one day being able to enjoy what they did.  The teenage years rolled around and I dated a few girls and got to feel what it was like to 'be in love.'  I really had no idea what being in love really was but I felt like I was in love anyway. 
I moved to Utah at the end of February 1994 and met Becky for the first time, at church.  We dated for several months and eventually married in November of that year.
We have been richly blessed with four children who are trying as hard as any four kids on earth to be the best that they can be!  I love the effort that they give to being good solid people.  They are also imperfect and learn various lessons of life each and every day.  I am thankful for that.
Let me share something personal about each one of them to give you an idea of the feelings I have.
Becky is solid in her conviction to do what is right.  She knows what she wants and she works very hard to go after her dreams.  She is the definition of compassion.  I have learned in the past several years that she is a visionary.  She sees things very well.  If something needs to be built, she can see the end product before the project has even begun.  I love that about her.  She loves to be a mom and she treats our children with  utmost respect.  She builds me up and focuses on the positive.  She has always taken pride in how she looks.  I think she is pretty and she believes that caring about how she looks makes her feel better about herself all the way around.  I love her with all of my heart!
Natalie takes after her mother in many ways.  She has many gifts and talents.  She is comfortable in her own skin.  Nat is a hard worker.  From the time she was a little girl, Nat has shot for the stars.  There isn't anything she doesn't believe she can master.  I remember when she approached me about trying out for the girl's basketball team in seventh grade.  I have to admit I wasn't the most confident in her skills but I didn't tell her that.  You have to understand that she couldn't even dribble the ball that well.  So we went to work out on the driveway and I told her that she needed to know how to dribble the basketball with both hands before we would go any further with the instruction.  I went into the house and she worked for more than an hour to master that skill.  She came in and told me that she was ready for more instruction.  To my surprise, she had learned.  We worked on the other skills of basketball and she ultimately made the team.  She is a devoted friend and a wonderful daughter!
Laurel is our snugglebug.  If we ever need a hug Lol is up for it at any time.  She is energetic and loves to have a great time.  She is an extremely hard worker who doesn't quit until the job is done.  Lol and I are very much alike.  That is fun to watch.  Laurel is a good friend and has the desire to choose the right.  She is talented and loves to learn.  She works hard to excel in school and her hard work definitely pays off.  She is talented with music.  I love to listen to her play the piano.  She looks pretty when she plays. 
Brady is our gentle kid.  He has a sincere desire to choose the right.  I've always been grateful that he a is an easy-going type because he is big and strong.  He doesn't like contention and he is a protector of the underdog.  He loves to be active.  His mind never stops thinking and the only time he isn't talking is when he is asleep. (Sometimes he does talk in his sleep.)  One of my favorite things about Brady is that he is affectionate with Becky and I.  He is an easy person to love and like.  I'm grateful to be his dad.
Now, Danny is the perfect kid to bring up the rear of our family. We thought that we were done having kids after Brady was born but then realized that there was another kid that was to be a part of our family. He brings us so much joy! Danny really loves to spend time with his mom. Whenever Becky is gone, Danny will ask where she is and when she will be home. I'm grateful that our kids look up to their mom.  He is a great thinker.  I have been amazed, since he was a little boy, that he can look at something that needs to be solved and he can think it out and figure out how it works.  The key to that is that he is unafraid of making a mistake.  There isn't anything that he won't figure out.  Just give him time. 
Becky and I joke constantly that we were blessed with four kids, all of which are bossy.  I think that the correct word would be independent and sure of themselves.  I thank heaven, everyday, that we don't have to worry about prying one of our kids out of a corner because they are too frightened to do anything. 
I love our family.  It is the greatest gift that I have been given. 
I hope that other people feel as fortunate as I do.  

You Are His Child

I attended a church meeting, last night, that got my mind thinking about the things in my life that are the most important.  I looked around the chapel of the church at all of the different people in attendance.  I looked closely at the different features of each individual person, both men and women.  The thought that kept entering my mind was that there is in fact a God who cares about each of us and all of the things that we experiencing.
I stood by the ocean in Holland and my companion and I watched the waves as they rolled methodically.  The organization of their movements was beautiful to watch.  I have spent my life, in different situations, watching the sun rise in the morning and then set in the evening.  I have watched the birth of our children and wondered how such a miracle could happen without there being a God to oversee such a life-altering event.
There is a God and He is the One who created you and me.  He loves us more than we will ever know.  We once lived with Him.  If we do the best that we can, we will return to live with Him again.  His Son, Jesus Christ, came to help make it possible for us to be with our Father again.  There is no other way but through Him.  I know that these are true principles.
We have a unique opportunity to live a life that is filled with challenges that stretch us and make us who we need to become.  I remember, clearly, a statement that my uncle made when my aunt was first diagnosed with cancer.  He said that the challenge of cancer would now allow them to show that they were the type of people that they had only talked about being.  Now it was time to practice what they preached.  They have been true champions!  Their family has been a great example to many people.
Each of us has control over the way we choose to live our lives.  The challenges come to the good and the bad.  We are trying to do the very best that we can and we have full trust that He will do His part.  He has never let us down. 

Spirit vs Letter

I know that there could be a whole debate about these two words but because of my intention to place a positive spin on everything I write, I hope to illustrate a simple point.
There were two young boys who had decided to go out on the town one Friday night.  These were good boys who were just out to have a good time.  The boys said that they would be home by midnight.  Their plan was executed perfect so that the boys would arrive home at just before their committed time.  On the way home, the boys encountered a flat tire.  This was pre-cell phone time so the boys knew that they would be late arriving home.  They fixed the flat tire on the side of the darkened highway.  They got home as fast as they could but were still late.  The two boys walked through the front door of the home of one of the boys.  The unhappy father of the one boy was awaiting the arrival of the two boys.  He was not very nice and I believe that he missed a great opportunity to reach out to his son and a friend.
Let me stop the story there. 
I vowed that night that if the experience ever happened to one of my kids that I would react much differently. 
We need to stop, take a deep breath, and then react in the very best way possible. 
I firmly believe that it is important to take into consideration something my own parents stated.  "There are no rules until you break them."  But since kids will still break rules, once in a while, trust still needs to be placed in them and second and third chances will allow them to learn and grow.  My parents were masters at allowing us kids to make many mistakes.  But the real key was that they didn't beat us up over them and then hold our mistakes against us.  Make a mistake, fix the mistake, and then move on with a smile on your face.  I am forever thankful for their wisdom.
Becky and I have given a lot of thought to making sure we trust our children and that we allow them some slack in the situations that they face.  In the eyes of our children, the best laid out plans don't always materialize the way they hope they will. 
They're not perfect...and neither are we!

You Never Know

While I was in Holland, my missionary companion and I were invited to go to a large theatre to enjoy Handel's Messiah.  The theatre was very large and from the very beginning of the production I felt like there was somebody watching us.  Throughout the production I looked around to see if I could figure out who it was that was watching us.  Toward the end I looked up and saw a young couple that we had met some days earlier.  When I saw them, they were looking right in our direction.  I waved to them and they waved back.  I sat in my seat and felt thankful that my companion and I were acting in a respectable manner.
There are other times in my life when I have had a similar situation occur but unfortunately I was not acting the way that I should have been.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, there is always someone watching to see how you will act in all different types of situations.
The words of my parents ring true.  "Remember who you are."  Those are words to live by and I try to do my very best to live up to that high expectation.  Minding your P's and Q's will always keep you out of trouble.  I'm not perfect but I am giving it my best shot.

A Child's Best Friend

I saw this story and thought it was appropriate since many experiences in our lives deal with the love of a pet.  Our family has been the recipient of love from a family pet.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith


We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand.. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies..’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by…
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,  God


It's been many years since we had our dog, Rascal.  He barked excessively and I didn't like him at all.  He knew that I didn't like him.  He loved Becky and she loved him in return. 
I was going to school during the day and working the evening shift.  One night I returned home from work at 12:30 AM.  I quietly walked into the back door and was greeted by Rascal, with his beard all messed up and sleepy eyes.  At that moment I knew that he loved me enough to awaken from a comfortable, dead sleep to spend some time with me.  Everyone else in the house was asleep and the house was completely quiet.  From that night on, when I got home, Rascal met me at the back door and stayed up with me until I went to bed. 
I am thankful for these animals that enrich our lives.  They become a big part of our families. 

We All Belong

I came home from work one afternoon.  As you turn into our neighborhood you pass a church.  In the parking lot of the church, I noticed a group of young kids walking home from school.  I watched them and realized that there was a group of kids beating up on another kid.  I pulled into the parking lot quickly and drove toward the group of kids.  The one kid was on the ground with his hands wrapped around his head and the other kids were around him taking their turns kicking.  I stopped the truck.  The kids turned and looked at me with expressions on their faces of complete innocence.  The lone kid on the ground pulled his hands from his head and looked upward with a look of relief on his face.  I asked the kids what was going on.  The loudest one of the bunch (the bully) tried to plead his case, while the rest of the kids remained silent.  I helped the kid being kicked to his feet.  I asked the bully if he was prepared to take a lickin' from this boy that he had been beating on.  Of course he didn't like that idea at all.  I sent the lone boy on his way home and kept the group behind.  It upset me that a group of kids would beat on one kid.  I voiced my frustration to them and asked them to please leave the boy alone unless they were prepared to go one on one with him.  I then sent them on their way.
When I was in seventh grade, I had the same thing happen to me.  It was only because of my now sister-in-law that I came out of that without a bloodied up face.  I was thankful that she was there that day for me.
I looked at our children, yesterday, and thought about how important each of them really are.  There shouldn't be any one individual that is being bullied by someone else.  In our youth it is all about popularity and jealousy that we find ourselves in less than good situations of picking on or bullying another.
I am trying to do those things that will positively influence those people around me.  My desire is that our children will want to do the same kinds of things. 
Becky has repeated this saying many times over to our children and I believe that it applies to everyone.  "It is easier to have friends than it is to have enemies."  I believe that statement with all of my heart. 
Our lives should be centered around making life for others as simple as it can be.  Our example of tolerance and acceptance might be one of the best things that our children see us do. 
I visited a man who some people might find quite odd.  I love this man a great deal because of his purity of heart.  It becomes apparent to me with each passing day that I need to forget about what a person may say or the way a person may act and focus on who a person really is.  Heaven only knows how crazy some people think I am. 
In the grand scheme of things, we are all very important!

In the Comfort of Her Arms.

I have always had a loving relationship with my mom.  She has always been the epitome of a 'lady'.  She is very feminine.  She even throws like a girl!  I have always been grateful for the type of mom I have. 
When I was little, I would get earaches, periodically.  I remember being up in the middle of the night feeling like my head was going to explode.  The pain grew so intense that I needed to go get my mom (because moms can take away any kind of pain.)  I would awaken her and she would lovingly take care of the pain that I was experiencing.  There were many nights when mom would heat up olive oil and put that in my ears and then stick a cotton ball into my ear canal.  That gave me some relief.  Then, she would rock me to sleep in the old rocking chair.  I can remember how good she smelled.  Her touch was soothing.  I knew that she cared about me.  The greatest relief came from being in her arms.
I don't get earaches anymore but the aches that I feel, once in awhile, come in a different way.  Becky has stepped appropriately into the role as the one who brings relief to my soul.  There have been occasions when I knew that if I could just talk to her that things would be alright.  And they are! 
It doesn't matter who you are, the time does come when you need someone who you can trust, to take away the burdens that seem to weigh you down.
I have the great blessing of Becky and my mom.
After Natalie (our oldest) was born, Becky's mom came over to our apartment, during the day, to give her the help that she needed because she was a new mom.  I was a young inexperienced father who was overly confident in my excitement of fatherhood.  I figured that when I came home from work that my mother-in-law could then go home and I could pick up where she left off.  That didn't happen exactly like I had hoped it would.  (Mom is an absolute angel.)  I got home on the second day and went into the room where Becky was laying on the bed.  She asked how the day had gone and I began to cry.  To this day, I can't remember ever crying that hard in my life.  I didn't understand the importance that it was for Becky to have her mom there to help.  I was frustrated that I didn't feel like anyone could see that I was perfectly capable of running our household and taking care of my wife and our new baby daughter.  Feeling a bit frustrated, I called later that evening to spout off the frustration that I felt to my own mom.  As has always been the case, my mom heard me out, completely.  There was silence on the other end of the phone.  "Becky needs her mom."  I was missing the most important part of the whole scenario, my wife needed her mom.  I am grateful that my mom spoke the words that I needed to hear the very most.  I needed to allow Becky to have her mom there.  I just didn't understand.  It will be a great blessing for Becky to be there when our daughters have children of their own and I hope that their husbands see that need better than I did.
Especially when I was young, I needed the comfort from within the arms of my mom.  I am grateful that I have a sweet woman that gives me the comfort that I need, in her arms. 

You Have To Go Now

There was a young married couple who lived in our neighborhood.  They seemed to be content with their life together.  The man traveled quite often for his employment.  Some things happened in their marriage and soon after we heard that they were getting a divorce.  The man moved out of the house and the woman began to set up the life she would have on her own. 
I was over at one of our friend's house and noticed that a truck was in the driveway that I hadn't seen for a long time.  The closer I looked, I realized that the truck in the driveway, next door, belonged to the man that had divorced his wife some months before.  I didn't think much about it, at the time.  I went to bed that evening and suddenly began to get an unsettled feeling about the truck being at that house.  The longer I lay in bed the stronger the impression got that I should go and check out the situation.  I finally sat up on the edge of the bed.  Becky asked if everything was alright with me.  I told her what I was feeling and expressed to her that I needed to go check on the home and make sure everything was fine.  She agreed.  The biggest dilemma for me was that it was late and I didn't want to be inconsiderate to anyone.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I called my friend, who lived next door to the house I was concerned about, to see if he would go check on the house with me.  Of course, he was more than willing to do it.  We walked up to the door and knocked.  We waited for a minute and then the door opened.  It was the young woman who lived there.  We could tell that she had been crying because her eyes were tear-stained.  I asked if everything was okay.  She hesitated briefly.  With her hesitation I knew that something was wrong.  A man called out her name.  The woman turned around away from us as if she was scared.  I recognized the voice of the man.  "Brian."  I inquired.  The young woman immediately opened the door wide.  Brian seemed surprised to see my friend and I at the door.  "Is everything alright?"  I asked.  "What are you doing here?"  Was my next question.  We were invited into the house.  We stood there in the entry way and visited for a few minutes.  The situation seemed heated and uncomfortable between the young couple.  We asked the man if he could please get what he needed and then get going.  He said that he would.  When we knew that all was calm, we left to go back to our homes.  As we left the house, my friend and I talked about our visit.  We hoped and prayed that things would be alright with this couple.
I got home and felt good about the decision to go and check. 
My dad has taught me on many occasions that when I get an impression, no matter if its big or small, I should act on it immediately. 
I was grateful that I had finally acted on the feeling I had gotten.  None of us will ever know why we get the feelings we get sometimes.  I'm thankful on that night, long ago, that I listened and acted.

Soul Search

I am going to take the liberty to spend my time writing something that is more spiritually minded, on Sunday.  I believe that my faith is not just a part of who I am, rather, it is who I am.
On Friday, I was listening to some music on my friend's IPOD.  One of the selections was a rendition of "Silent Night" performed by David Archuleta.  I know what you're thinking, Christmas is over, but it just felt like a good song to listen to, in the moment.  I listened carefully to its lyrics and was physically moved by its message.
Many years have passed since that world-changing event when the baby Jesus came to this earth.  That event continues to stir up daily feelings in my heart. 
Each of us needs a 'silent night' of our own once in a while.  We need to pause and reflect on the things in our lives that make us cheer as well as the things that trouble our hearts. 
I worked at my work bench and silently thanked my Heavenly Father for His kindness to me and my family.  I began to run through the large list of things for which I am most grateful.  I thought about certain individuals that could especially use my friendship to help them through difficult challenges that they currently face.  I thought about the gratitude I feel for my parents who are currently out of the country enjoying some time of vacation with one another.  My mind raced at the wonderful opportunities I am given, on a daily basis, to touch some body's heart for good.  
These silent moments give us all a chance to reflect and ponder about the things that are the most important.
I have a man who I haven't seen or even thought about for nearly twenty years.  The memory of working with him suddenly came into my mind. He had some severe disabilities and yet his work ethic never wavered.  He showed me what it was like to give his employer a fair day's work.  I watched him treat his co-workers with respect.  I watched his enthusiasm in an effort to make people smile.  His spirit lifted mine whenever I was around him.  I wondered silently, "what ever happened to James?"  The positive impact he had on my life is still alive.
I encourage you to take the moments of reflection so that you can have your heart lifted just as mine has been.  My moment just happened to be the remembrance of one of the greatest nights ever known to mankind. 
Your opportunity to reflect may be different than mine but just as important in nature.  Enjoy the moments as they come, for they will help to shape you into the person you are supposed to become.

When I Grow Up

Several months ago, our youngest boy, Danny, came tromping into the living room with my shoes on.  I don't have enormous feet but when you put a size eleven shoe on the feet of a seven year old they look huge.  I joked with him about how quickly his feet had grown in just a short amount of time.  He then stated the obvious by saying.  "Dad, these are your shoes, don't you know?" 
I gave some thought to that small window of time that I enjoyed with Dan.  I thought about doing the same exact thing with my dad's shoes and thinking to myself that one day I was going to grow up to be big. 
I am thankful for the opportunity to look forward with anticipation of things yet to come.
About seventeen years ago, Becky and I found out that we were expecting our first child.  It was an exciting time for us but also overwhelming.  To be a father was something I had hoped would happen to me.  I wanted to grow up and get married to a wonderful person. (I got the very best!)  I hoped with all of my heart that I would be able to have children.  That blessing has also come to pass for which I am grateful. 
Speaking of looking forward to things.  I thought about the time that passed during the pregnancy of our oldest son, Brady.  From the beginning of the pregnancy, I began dreaming that this baby boy would be born with Down Syndrome.  The dreams were some of the sweetest experiences I have ever enjoyed.  Life was rich with this cute little boy.  Our life didn't seem to skip a beat at all.  I enjoyed everything about him.  The pregnancy went well and the day quickly arrived when we would finally enjoy this new addition to our family.  It finally came time for Dr. Macy to deliver the baby.  The delivery went well and Dr. Macy assured us that we had a healthy baby boy.  I must have had a puzzled look on my face when she looked at me to deliver the exciting news.  "Is he okay?" I asked.  "Yes!"  Was her response.  As I looked at this new beautiful baby boy, I expected to see this beautiful boy with challenges that we would live with for the remainder of our lives.  I was relieved but also a bit saddened because I had dreamed about him for many months.  I was grateful to have a healthy baby. 
All I ever wanted to do was grow up and be happy.  I have been blessed in abundance.  I still feel like Danny walking in those big shoes, looking forward to the many great adventures and opportunities that lie ahead.  The shoes still feel like they have some growing room.  When the day finally comes that I grow into those shoes, I hope that I have done all that I can do.  Because after all is said and done, I want to grow up to be the best person I can be. 

Do You Believe?

I see myself as a firm believer.  I remember a  particular day when I was a teenager.  It seemed like everything that could go bad, did.  I vented to my mom that my day had been one of the worst days I could remember ever having.  Her wise response was this.  "Then you know that tomorrow is going to be a better day!"  I will admit now that I thought she was a little crazy but I did take her word for it.  The very next day was, just like she said, probably one of the best days I ever had.
There are a lot of difficult times that we all will have to deal with.  Sometimes we get an unfortunate break.  Some of those come from decisions we make and others are controlled by the decisions of others.  Nonetheless, the decision is ours how we will let it affect us.
Do you believe that the 'sun' will shine on you after a bitterly hard storm?  Do you believe that hurt can be repaired through the kind words of a dear friend?  Do you believe that the strength of your family can endure any kind of heartache?  Do you believe that you are a magnificent person who can overcome anything?  I believe you can.
I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Holland.  My companion and I went out one day to share the message that we had.  We were excited about the opportunity to teach this message.  Beginning at 9 AM, the first home that we visited opened the door momentarily and then promptly slammed the door shortly after we began to tell them why we were there.  Throughout the entire day, one door after another  were slammed in our faces.  I thought that it was really rude of the people to act that way but the words suddenly came into my mind that my mom had shared with me a couple of years earlier.  Tomorrow is sure to be a better day.  
I believe that her statement is true.  I'm not saying that it will be perfect.  What I am saying is that no matter the heartache or frustration that you are feeling, if you will look at all of the positives that can come from your adversity you will surely find them and the day will become brightened in no time at all.
We are a part of a great plan.  We live in a life full of never ending possibilities.  We face challenges that seem like they will swallow us up.  But we can overcome them and become so much stronger than we ever thought possible.  Tomorrow is going to be a better day.
Do you believe?  I do!

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

About three years ago, I sat and listened to a discussion where people compared with each other, all of the things that they had as a kid.  The longer the discussion went on the more I realized how great of a childhood I really did have.  I am not saying that to have things is necessarily a bad thing.  What I hope to convey is that the time we spend together, and the memories we make are the things that matter the most.  
Our family spent a lot of time playing at the parks nearby our home.  We could bring a basketball, a football, a frisbee, and the baseball and baseball gloves to make up a night of absolute enjoyment.
I could go on and on about those fun times we shared as a family.  Those are truly the greatest memories of my childhood.
My parents made sure that life was fun for us all and they particularly enjoyed the times when we were all together.  There has never been a doubt of their love for us!
Becky and I lead a very simple life.  There isn't much to brag about when it comes to monetary success.  We have what we need and that seems perfectly sufficient.  What we do have is a lot of fun.  We spend much of our lives laughing hysterically, mostly at ourselves.  We love to be together, as a family, no matter what we are doing.
A fond memory that comes to my mind is the time we spent swimming and playing in the water at Jordanelle Reservoir.  Becky called me at work, one afternoon, and asked me if I was interested in meeting her and the kids at Jordanelle.  You have to know that I don't need a very good excuse to have to leave work early and spend time with the people I cherish the most.  I met them about an hour later.  Becky packed a picnic dinner for us and with the floating, blow-up toys and a football, we were set for the entire evening, being together and making a memory that would last a lifetime.
I find great pleasure in building strong family bonds.  I believe that these memories that we have made, and will continue to make, are the very best things in life.

Who I Really Am.

This morning was similar to every other morning.  There is one important difference, however.  I looked in the mirror and at 5:30 AM it was just me and the man in the mirror.  I looked a little closer today and wondered as I looked at myself, "am I doing a good job in my life?" 
I was told recently, that an article was written that stated that one of the hardest things for people to do is to look at themselves in the mirror and smile.  That statement has caused me to think about me.
I looked closely today at the physical part of me.  My face is growing older and some of my physical characteristics are different than even five years ago.  I wondered whose head it was in the mirror that has lost a whole bunch of hair.  I weigh more than I should and that 'load' is obvious to me.
I am very imperfect but today, I saw a man that is trying hard to be a good person.  I saw someone who adores his wife and children.  I saw a person who tries every day to treat his fellow beings as valued people.  I saw a man who tries to understand his role in life and the importance of it.  I saw a man who understands better than anybody else his many imperfections.  I saw somebody who tries to be teachable and learn as much as he can.  Most importantly, I saw a man whose eyes showed a clear conscience starring back at me.  I felt good about the man that I was looking at.
Now its your turn.  I'm not asking you to look in the mirror and find a perfect person looking back at you.  I am asking you to take a moment and look deep into the eyes of someone who is important.  I am asking you to evaluate yourself and look at all of the positively wonderful things you are trying to do.  I am asking you to look carefully to see if you can see some characteristics, in yourself, that resemble the One who created you. I am asking you to see and then realize the many different talents and gifts you possess and ought to be willing to share with others.  This is not the time to focus on anything negative.  
Once you have looked and contemplated all that is good, take a moment to smile at that person in the mirror.  Reflect on the very most important part of this reality.  You were created from the very hands of God.  He is your Maker.  And no matter what, yes, no matter what, He loves you!
It is today that I find great motivation in life and the excitement of opportunities that lie ahead.  We are all very important.   Today is a life-changing day!

The Power of Giving.

Our daughter was hospitalized as an infant with an illness.  I had a good job but I had no time that I could use to leave work and be helpful to my wife at the hospital.  Becky spent many hours at the hospital with our daughter. 
I worked with a woman who was very kind and she and I had built a friendship that was solid.  She was much older than I was and she led a hard lifestyle to what I was used to.  I really enjoyed her 'hard' personality and the way she spoke bluntly about everything.  I had shared with her that our daughter had been hospitalized.  She kept pretty good tabs on the situation, asking me what the latest details were.  I came into work one day and she asked me how our daughter was and if there was progress being made.  I told her that there was progress.  She then asked me why I was at work and not up at the hospital.  I told her that I didn't have any sort of leave that I could use to be there but that Becky was there and that made me feel good inside.  A few minutes later, my friend Diane, handed me five twenty dollar bills and told me that she would pay for the day of work and she hoped that I would take leave ,without pay, and go to the hospital to give Becky a break.  I couldn't believe it!  I assured her that I would go and I gave her a hug and thanked her for her generosity.
A few years ago, my friend Diane, suddenly passed away.  I was asked to speak at her funeral.  One of the very first things I thought of speaking about was her generosity during a period of time when we were financially strapped and struggling with the stresses of a hospitalized child.  I told the congregation of people assembled that day how grateful I was for the love that she showed to me and my little family.
Sometimes the simplest gestures go a very long way, especially when the stress level is high for someone that is going through a tough time in their life. 
I continue to try and look for opportunities to lift the burdens of a people who need the help of another.  
Diane was good at anticipating the needs that we had, and then acting in a quick, concise manner.  That ought to be our sincere goal.

Sportsmanlike Conduct

A couple of years ago, I read a sports article that touched me.  I wouldn't say that I am much of a sports guy, these days, but this particular story brought me a lot of joy.  If you have already read this maybe a repeat of it will be beneficial.

PORTLAND, Ore. - With two runners on base and a strike against her, Sara Tucholsky of Western Oregon University uncorked her best swing and did something she had never done, in high school or college. Her first home run cleared the center-field fence.    But it appeared to be the shortest of dreams come true when she missed first base, started back to tag it and collapsed with a knee injury.  She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first-base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch runner could be called in, and the homer would count as a single.  Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned spectators by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count — an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.  Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the career home run leader in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference, asked the umpire if she and her teammates could help Tucholsky.  The umpire said there was no rule against it.  So Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky’s legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg.  “The only thing I remember is that Mallory asked me which leg was the one that hurt,” Tucholsky said. “I told her it was my right leg and she said, ‘OK, we’re going to drop you down gently and you need to touch it with your left leg,’ and I said ‘OK, thank you very much.”’  “She said, ‘You deserve it, you hit it over the fence,’ and we all kind of just laughed.”  “We didn’t know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run,” Wallace said Wednesday. “That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her.”  Holtman said she and Wallace weren’t thinking about the playoff spot, and didn’t consider the gesture something others wouldn’t do.  As for Tucholsky, the 5-foot-2 right fielder was focused on her pain.  “I really didn’t say too much. I was trying to breathe,” she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Wednesday.  “I didn’t realize what was going on until I had time to sit down and let the pain relax a little bit,” she said. “Then I realized the extent of what I actually did.”  “I hope I would do the same for her in the same situation,” Tucholsky added.  As the trio reached home plate, Tucholsky said, the entire Western Oregon team was in tears.  Central Washington coach Gary Frederick, a 14-year coaching veteran, called the act of sportsmanship “unbelievable.”   Her home run sent Western Oregon to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington’s chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.  “In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much,” Holtman said. “It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run.”

It thrills my heart to see such acts.  There are many more just like it.  Let's look a little harder to find these stories that truly are some of the gems in our lives.  It is reassuring to me that there are a lot of people trying to do good, every single day!

Is Anyone There?

A few days ago, I was sitting in my truck at a red light.  I looked over to the left of the truck and saw a man.  This man looked toward the sky and his actions caught my eye.  I continued to watch him and his eyes looked toward the sky as if to wonder if there was anyone or anything out there who really cared for him. 
If there is anyone who may feel the same way this man could have been feeling, let me assure you that there is someone who really cares about each one of us.
When I was twenty one, I spent the day enjoying the sights and sounds and experiences of Stinson Beach in the San Francisco Bay area.  I love the beach and everything about the experience that you can have there.  The beach was very crowded on this day.  I remember the temperature of the water was nice.  As I got out into the water I could see that there was a lot of surfing activity going on.  The waves looked good for those interested in surfing.  When I got out into the water and the level came up to my waist, I looked back to where my friend was sitting and saw the clearly posted sign with the words, "No lifeguard on duty."  I am a horrible swimmer!  I did, however, want to go into the water and I felt confident that I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize my safety.  I waded out a little deeper and then began to swim a little way out.  I could feel a gentle pull that comes from the undertows at this particular beach.  I wasn't paying very good attention to how far I was being pulled out until I turned around to look toward the beach area.  To my surprise I was a long way out.  Panic set in immediately and I began to swim toward the shore.  With every stroke forward I felt like I was being pulled twice as much backward.  I tried to stop and think rationally about what I needed to do to get back to shore.  I felt cold and tired.  I even tried to holler but nothing would come out.  My thoughts raced through my mind of my parents and siblings.  I thought about my friend not knowing where I had disappeared until the bad news would be realized when my lifeless body would be found.  The thoughts were horrifying to me.  I tried to inhale and see if I could somehow touch sand.  I realized that it was very deep where I was at the time.  Just as I knew that I could do nothing else but simply gulp some water and hope that the end would be quick, I offered a silent prayer of desperation and wondered, "is anyone there?"  No sooner had I offered this simple prayer I was launched forward by a crashing wave.  The wave was so hard that my body hit the sandy bottom and it felt like I had hit concrete.  When I came up to the water's surface, I realized that I was standing.  I turned around and realized that the shore was now very close.  I fell into the water and offered a prayer of comfort, this time.  There had been many times in my life when I had felt the loving arms of someone who cared wrapped tightly around me.  This time was extra special for me.
There is someone who cares.  I have no doubt.  He cares for us every day of our lives and He wants us to feel of the love He has for us.  

Go Back and Find it

My mom was a stickler about putting a smile on our faces.  Sometimes, teenagers aren't the best at doing that.  I had gotten up early and readied myself for the day.  When I was younger, mornings were the worst time of the whole day, as far as I was concerned.  I came down the hallway and into the kitchen area of our home.  "Good morning, son."  That was a normal greeting from my mom.  My return greeting must have been horrible.  She kindly invited me to go back to my room and find a smile.  I thought that was a strange request and I think I brushed her off.  "Go back to your room and put a smile on your face.  The world doesn't want to see you without a smile on your face."  She was dead serious.  I returned back down the hallway to my bedroom and closed the door.  I didn't feel like I was unhappy and I didn't completely understand why my mom felt so strongly about this.
I understand her way of thinking now.  There is so much good in our lives. 
I was in the grocery store two days ago and I passed a woman in one of the aisles.  As we passed each other I looked at her and she looked at me.  We were complete strangers but with a smile on her face she said hello.  Her smile meant a lot to me even though I didn't know who she was.  As I finished my shopping I paid close attention to the rest of the people that I passed.  There are very few people who smile. 
These days I am a 'morning person' because I get up early each morning to go to work.  Most of the people I work with do not like how the early morning makes them feel.  On Wednesday of this week, I decided that I would put a theory to the test.  My plan was to pleasantly say good morning to the people on my immediate team and see how they would respond to that.  Most of my teammates uttered a positive good morning in return but there were a couple of people who growled.  Many of you know the growl I'm talking about.  Some of you are probably some of the growlers.  I burst out laughing because I couldn't believe it.  I thought about my mom and I gained a greater understanding of why she said what she did. 
My mom had a lot of wisdom when she told me to find a smile.  I pass on to you what my mom said to me many years ago.  Evaluate your life and look at all of the reasons why a smile on your face is appropriate.  My life is very rich but the woman in the store, just two days ago, touched my heart because she smiled.  Let's try to be the same way!

Band of Brothers

I love real life stories.  I've got a really good one to share with you.  More than twenty years have passed but the experience is still very clear in my mind. 

Danny was a typical young boy with a whole life ahead of him.  My younger brother became close friends with Danny.  Sometime after these two boys became friends, Danny had some medical problems that plagued his young body and some required surgical procedures needed to happen.  During ensuing weeks and months Danny's condition worsened and his problems eventually caused him to be paralyzed from the neck down.  Everything that Danny had once been able to do for himself now required the constant help of somebody else. 

Danny was hospitalized for awhile in the Oakland, California area for several months.  Machines were attached to him all of the time to keep him alive. 

An idea was devised by some boys, who were Danny's friends, and their church leaders to go and visit him each Sunday at the hospital in Oakland.  The drive from Sacramento to see him took about one hour and a half each way.  All who participated were thrilled by the opportunity to see their friend.  Every week there was at least one adult leader and two or three boys who traveled to the hospital to visit Danny.  Their visits were normally thirty minutes or less but the love that they took with them was uplifting to Danny's spirit.  I went on two different occasions and I was amazed at the happiness that these simple visits brought to this young boy.  His eyes would shine as we entered the room.  I was older than Danny but my heart was touched for the honor that it was for me to go and help brighten his day in a very small way.

He eventually came home but his body was always assisted by a machine.  Life was difficult to say the least.  Danny was the oldest child so his parents not only had him to care for but also other younger siblings.  He was wheelchair bound but learned to operate the wheelchair with a wand that he moved using his chin.  My brother and Danny became best friends. 

The Junior High School where they attended had a day where kids could dress up as twins.  Yep, you guessed it.  These two boys were twins in wheelchairs.  Over the next little while Danny's condition worsened until he passed away.

That was a sad day for many different reasons.  The greatest, of course, was that Danny was going to be missed by all of the people who had grown to love him through selfless service.

Although there have been many years that have passed since Danny was alive I can't help but think of the small window of time when several boys and their adult leaders combined their utmost love for the one brother that needed them the very most.  Their actions defined the essence of love and compassion from one brother to another.

We are presented with the same opportunity.  We can help to lift the burdens of those around us.  Be that person who gives a smile to someone who doesn't seem to have anything to smile about.  Be that ray of hope for someone who seems to have lost everything.  Our combined efforts will no doubt make for a brighter tomorrow.

Touched by an Angel

In the forty years of my life I have felt privileged to live in a fairy tale.  It doesn't mean that everything always goes the way that I hope it will but life is full of promise and there is fulfillment in abundance.
My focus today, as part of my fairy tale belongs to my wife Becky.  For seventeen years, she has brought countless smiles to my face on many different occasions.  She has seen me in the best of times and in the worst.  She shares in life's greatest accomplishments.  I believe that she was present when I got as angry as I can imagine getting (although the anger was not toward her or any of our children).  She was there when I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe.  She is my greatest fan when it comes to trying something new (Yes, this blog counts, too).  We stick together on the decisions we make and the things that we do.
For those of you who know Becky will understand, in a small way, some of the things that I know about her.  Her actions in life are the literal definition of compassion.  There isn't anything that is helpful that she wouldn't do for another human being.  I have watched with amazement as she tends to the needs of those whose heads hang low with all of life's challenges.  Her eyes to help another seem to naturally gravitate to people and their needs, not what a person's status is in society.  I firmly believe that there isn't anyone that could intimidate her.  She is all about people and who they really are, on the inside.
In early 1994, I saw her for the first time.  That was in church.  When I saw her I found her to be stunningly beautiful!  As the years have passed my feelings have grown deeper for her because of obvious reasons.  We have shared a charmed life.  Part of that, I believe, is because we try to be normal people.  The world doesn't know us and in our own society we are just like everybody else, just trying to live good and honorable lives.
Becky, I love you!  I will spend my life trying to be the person that you are.  Thank you for all that you do to make life the blessing that it truly is.

Space for Opitimism

Mrs. Gonzalez was a woman in her mid to late sixties.  She was gentle by nature and ultra patient with her kindergarten class, especially me.  I had a difficult time sitting still.  What I really mean is remaining still whether I was sitting, standing or probably even while I was crawling on the mat that taught us the various shapes and colors.  She did love me and I could feel her love.  Because she loved me so much I think that when she got to the point when she could no longer stand for my behavior she kindly invited me to go pay a visit to Dr. Johansen, the principal.  In the beginning, I was scared to go to his office.  After my initial visit I quickly learned that he was a kind man.  Looking back on that time I realize that he was very good at his job and he loved the kids, no doubt about it!  Dr. Johansen would spend about ten minutes visiting with me about the ins and outs of the over-the-top life of a kindergarten student.  He would always end with, "are you ready to go back to class and be quiet for rest of the day?"  I agreed each time and quickly returned to class attempting to do better.  There was something else I did that really bothered Mrs. Gonzalez.  My penmanship was atrocious!  I can still hear the gentleness in her voice as she would plead with me to take a little more time on my writing.  My intention was good but when it came time to actually write, I would speed my way through the simple writing exercise.  After about a dozen times of kindly asking me to do better and many papers returned to me from being graded with red marks indicating what I had done wrong, I finally received a paper that had a hand-written message at the top of the paper.  In perfect penmanship were written the two clear words at the top of the page..."Good spaces!"  On this particular paper, my teacher had decided to point out something positive hoping that this strategy might impact my decision to actually want to improve.  The spacing I had used between the letters I had written was good, a finger width apart from each other.
All of these years later, I find a great deal of wisdom in her approach.
There is a pure lesson to be learned here.  No matter what the situation is, there is always something positive to be found.  Mrs. Gonzalez taught me that value as a kindergarten student and I have thought about that lesson many times since. 
Her optimistic attitude instilled in me the confidence to be a better writer.  
Now the desire to have good penmanship has stuck, thanks to a loving teacher who cared enough to take the time to point out something to me that I had done good.  I will be thankful to her forever!

Unity will Prevail

I had a conversation, this morning, with a man that I know very well.  His heart was troubled and I knew it when I first saw him.  I asked him if he had enjoyed a nice extended Christmas break.  He stood silently without saying much.  I knew what the answer was.  I asked him what was troubling him.  He began to tell me some of the things that were weighing heavily on his mind.
I perfectly understand that everyone of us has those moments when things that would normally be good seem to bother us.  Because I know how my friend feels today I decided to lend a listening ear without offering a single bit of advice.  He talked for a half hour and seemed relieved to just sputter his frustrations.
I will tell you that much of his frustration comes from the lack of being able to feel unified in his immediate family relations.
Early on in our marriage, Becky and I decided that we wanted to be unified together on everything that we did, with each other.  That didn't mean that we couldn't continue to have our own personalities.  We had the sincere desire to be ONE.  Now, I understand that for some people that means that some difficult obstacles have to be overcome.  I see that as overcoming oneself for the benefit of the couple.
My friend has been married to the same woman for many years and they are still trying to overcome their own selves in order to find the oneness that they hope will come.
In this station of my life I feel grateful to share life with a woman who desires to have OUR life together.  My heart hurts today for my friend who longs for a life together but still must overcome some things for himself.
Our family should be the most important unit of association that we have. 
I was taught as a young boy, from parents who loved me a great deal, that a person should not ever do or say something that would be harmful to somebody that they profess to love the very most.  That statement feels as true today as the day that it was taught to me.  We need to strive to cement our family relationships into those filled with unity!