I watch people closely. I believe that there is a lot to be learned by careful observation. I'm not looking for, nor do I expect perfection, I just want to see how people do certain things.
One of those careful observations is how people talk to their children. Their interactions with their children, both while the kids are behaving and not, are important.
Many years ago, I was told of an experience in the check-out line of a local grocery store. The man who shared the experience was the third person in the line. A large, husky man was standing second in line. The person who was being 'checked out' was having a rough time with a younger child. The person kept hollering at the unhappy child, thinking that it would help. The kid was sitting in the grocery cart. After a couple of attempts at hollering at the kid, the person lost their cool and went to slap the young child. Before contact could be made, the large man caught the individuals hand in mid-air. Looking directly at the person, the large man firmly stated, "Don't even think about it."
Our actions toward our children ought to be those of control. I do know how it feels to lose control of my temper. There are a couple of different instances that I clearly remember from when our kids were much younger. I don't think that anybody is exempt from 'losing their cool.' The older I get, the clearer it becomes to me that the responsibility is mine to lead with love. The 'iron fist' approach is not only wrong but ineffective.
Our children ought to have loving structure in their lives. It can be done without slapping or hitting.
The eternal truth still stands strong. The children that are entrusted to your care, are just that--they're on loan for a short season. They don't belong directly to you. They are children of a loving Father. He has placed their safety and well-being on your shoulders. Our intention ought to be, and is expected, to send them back to Him better than how we received them. That is a long discussion for another time and has moral agency intertwined throughout it.
I have control over the things that I do. I am trying to do the best that I can each and every day.
