Sportsmanlike Conduct

A couple of years ago, I read a sports article that touched me.  I wouldn't say that I am much of a sports guy, these days, but this particular story brought me a lot of joy.  If you have already read this maybe a repeat of it will be beneficial.

PORTLAND, Ore. - With two runners on base and a strike against her, Sara Tucholsky of Western Oregon University uncorked her best swing and did something she had never done, in high school or college. Her first home run cleared the center-field fence.    But it appeared to be the shortest of dreams come true when she missed first base, started back to tag it and collapsed with a knee injury.  She crawled back to first but could do no more. The first-base coach said she would be called out if her teammates tried to help her. Or, the umpire said, a pinch runner could be called in, and the homer would count as a single.  Then, members of the Central Washington University softball team stunned spectators by carrying Tucholsky around the bases Saturday so the three-run homer would count — an act that contributed to their own elimination from the playoffs.  Central Washington first baseman Mallory Holtman, the career home run leader in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference, asked the umpire if she and her teammates could help Tucholsky.  The umpire said there was no rule against it.  So Holtman and shortstop Liz Wallace put their arms under Tucholsky’s legs, and she put her arms over their shoulders. The three headed around the base paths, stopping to let Tucholsky touch each base with her good leg.  “The only thing I remember is that Mallory asked me which leg was the one that hurt,” Tucholsky said. “I told her it was my right leg and she said, ‘OK, we’re going to drop you down gently and you need to touch it with your left leg,’ and I said ‘OK, thank you very much.”’  “She said, ‘You deserve it, you hit it over the fence,’ and we all kind of just laughed.”  “We didn’t know that she was a senior or that this was her first home run,” Wallace said Wednesday. “That makes the story more touching than it was. We just wanted to help her.”  Holtman said she and Wallace weren’t thinking about the playoff spot, and didn’t consider the gesture something others wouldn’t do.  As for Tucholsky, the 5-foot-2 right fielder was focused on her pain.  “I really didn’t say too much. I was trying to breathe,” she told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Wednesday.  “I didn’t realize what was going on until I had time to sit down and let the pain relax a little bit,” she said. “Then I realized the extent of what I actually did.”  “I hope I would do the same for her in the same situation,” Tucholsky added.  As the trio reached home plate, Tucholsky said, the entire Western Oregon team was in tears.  Central Washington coach Gary Frederick, a 14-year coaching veteran, called the act of sportsmanship “unbelievable.”   Her home run sent Western Oregon to a 4-2 victory, ending Central Washington’s chances of winning the conference and advancing to the playoffs.  “In the end, it is not about winning and losing so much,” Holtman said. “It was about this girl. She hit it over the fence and was in pain, and she deserved a home run.”

It thrills my heart to see such acts.  There are many more just like it.  Let's look a little harder to find these stories that truly are some of the gems in our lives.  It is reassuring to me that there are a lot of people trying to do good, every single day!

Is Anyone There?

A few days ago, I was sitting in my truck at a red light.  I looked over to the left of the truck and saw a man.  This man looked toward the sky and his actions caught my eye.  I continued to watch him and his eyes looked toward the sky as if to wonder if there was anyone or anything out there who really cared for him. 
If there is anyone who may feel the same way this man could have been feeling, let me assure you that there is someone who really cares about each one of us.
When I was twenty one, I spent the day enjoying the sights and sounds and experiences of Stinson Beach in the San Francisco Bay area.  I love the beach and everything about the experience that you can have there.  The beach was very crowded on this day.  I remember the temperature of the water was nice.  As I got out into the water I could see that there was a lot of surfing activity going on.  The waves looked good for those interested in surfing.  When I got out into the water and the level came up to my waist, I looked back to where my friend was sitting and saw the clearly posted sign with the words, "No lifeguard on duty."  I am a horrible swimmer!  I did, however, want to go into the water and I felt confident that I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize my safety.  I waded out a little deeper and then began to swim a little way out.  I could feel a gentle pull that comes from the undertows at this particular beach.  I wasn't paying very good attention to how far I was being pulled out until I turned around to look toward the beach area.  To my surprise I was a long way out.  Panic set in immediately and I began to swim toward the shore.  With every stroke forward I felt like I was being pulled twice as much backward.  I tried to stop and think rationally about what I needed to do to get back to shore.  I felt cold and tired.  I even tried to holler but nothing would come out.  My thoughts raced through my mind of my parents and siblings.  I thought about my friend not knowing where I had disappeared until the bad news would be realized when my lifeless body would be found.  The thoughts were horrifying to me.  I tried to inhale and see if I could somehow touch sand.  I realized that it was very deep where I was at the time.  Just as I knew that I could do nothing else but simply gulp some water and hope that the end would be quick, I offered a silent prayer of desperation and wondered, "is anyone there?"  No sooner had I offered this simple prayer I was launched forward by a crashing wave.  The wave was so hard that my body hit the sandy bottom and it felt like I had hit concrete.  When I came up to the water's surface, I realized that I was standing.  I turned around and realized that the shore was now very close.  I fell into the water and offered a prayer of comfort, this time.  There had been many times in my life when I had felt the loving arms of someone who cared wrapped tightly around me.  This time was extra special for me.
There is someone who cares.  I have no doubt.  He cares for us every day of our lives and He wants us to feel of the love He has for us.  

Go Back and Find it

My mom was a stickler about putting a smile on our faces.  Sometimes, teenagers aren't the best at doing that.  I had gotten up early and readied myself for the day.  When I was younger, mornings were the worst time of the whole day, as far as I was concerned.  I came down the hallway and into the kitchen area of our home.  "Good morning, son."  That was a normal greeting from my mom.  My return greeting must have been horrible.  She kindly invited me to go back to my room and find a smile.  I thought that was a strange request and I think I brushed her off.  "Go back to your room and put a smile on your face.  The world doesn't want to see you without a smile on your face."  She was dead serious.  I returned back down the hallway to my bedroom and closed the door.  I didn't feel like I was unhappy and I didn't completely understand why my mom felt so strongly about this.
I understand her way of thinking now.  There is so much good in our lives. 
I was in the grocery store two days ago and I passed a woman in one of the aisles.  As we passed each other I looked at her and she looked at me.  We were complete strangers but with a smile on her face she said hello.  Her smile meant a lot to me even though I didn't know who she was.  As I finished my shopping I paid close attention to the rest of the people that I passed.  There are very few people who smile. 
These days I am a 'morning person' because I get up early each morning to go to work.  Most of the people I work with do not like how the early morning makes them feel.  On Wednesday of this week, I decided that I would put a theory to the test.  My plan was to pleasantly say good morning to the people on my immediate team and see how they would respond to that.  Most of my teammates uttered a positive good morning in return but there were a couple of people who growled.  Many of you know the growl I'm talking about.  Some of you are probably some of the growlers.  I burst out laughing because I couldn't believe it.  I thought about my mom and I gained a greater understanding of why she said what she did. 
My mom had a lot of wisdom when she told me to find a smile.  I pass on to you what my mom said to me many years ago.  Evaluate your life and look at all of the reasons why a smile on your face is appropriate.  My life is very rich but the woman in the store, just two days ago, touched my heart because she smiled.  Let's try to be the same way!

Band of Brothers

I love real life stories.  I've got a really good one to share with you.  More than twenty years have passed but the experience is still very clear in my mind. 

Danny was a typical young boy with a whole life ahead of him.  My younger brother became close friends with Danny.  Sometime after these two boys became friends, Danny had some medical problems that plagued his young body and some required surgical procedures needed to happen.  During ensuing weeks and months Danny's condition worsened and his problems eventually caused him to be paralyzed from the neck down.  Everything that Danny had once been able to do for himself now required the constant help of somebody else. 

Danny was hospitalized for awhile in the Oakland, California area for several months.  Machines were attached to him all of the time to keep him alive. 

An idea was devised by some boys, who were Danny's friends, and their church leaders to go and visit him each Sunday at the hospital in Oakland.  The drive from Sacramento to see him took about one hour and a half each way.  All who participated were thrilled by the opportunity to see their friend.  Every week there was at least one adult leader and two or three boys who traveled to the hospital to visit Danny.  Their visits were normally thirty minutes or less but the love that they took with them was uplifting to Danny's spirit.  I went on two different occasions and I was amazed at the happiness that these simple visits brought to this young boy.  His eyes would shine as we entered the room.  I was older than Danny but my heart was touched for the honor that it was for me to go and help brighten his day in a very small way.

He eventually came home but his body was always assisted by a machine.  Life was difficult to say the least.  Danny was the oldest child so his parents not only had him to care for but also other younger siblings.  He was wheelchair bound but learned to operate the wheelchair with a wand that he moved using his chin.  My brother and Danny became best friends. 

The Junior High School where they attended had a day where kids could dress up as twins.  Yep, you guessed it.  These two boys were twins in wheelchairs.  Over the next little while Danny's condition worsened until he passed away.

That was a sad day for many different reasons.  The greatest, of course, was that Danny was going to be missed by all of the people who had grown to love him through selfless service.

Although there have been many years that have passed since Danny was alive I can't help but think of the small window of time when several boys and their adult leaders combined their utmost love for the one brother that needed them the very most.  Their actions defined the essence of love and compassion from one brother to another.

We are presented with the same opportunity.  We can help to lift the burdens of those around us.  Be that person who gives a smile to someone who doesn't seem to have anything to smile about.  Be that ray of hope for someone who seems to have lost everything.  Our combined efforts will no doubt make for a brighter tomorrow.

Touched by an Angel

In the forty years of my life I have felt privileged to live in a fairy tale.  It doesn't mean that everything always goes the way that I hope it will but life is full of promise and there is fulfillment in abundance.
My focus today, as part of my fairy tale belongs to my wife Becky.  For seventeen years, she has brought countless smiles to my face on many different occasions.  She has seen me in the best of times and in the worst.  She shares in life's greatest accomplishments.  I believe that she was present when I got as angry as I can imagine getting (although the anger was not toward her or any of our children).  She was there when I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe.  She is my greatest fan when it comes to trying something new (Yes, this blog counts, too).  We stick together on the decisions we make and the things that we do.
For those of you who know Becky will understand, in a small way, some of the things that I know about her.  Her actions in life are the literal definition of compassion.  There isn't anything that is helpful that she wouldn't do for another human being.  I have watched with amazement as she tends to the needs of those whose heads hang low with all of life's challenges.  Her eyes to help another seem to naturally gravitate to people and their needs, not what a person's status is in society.  I firmly believe that there isn't anyone that could intimidate her.  She is all about people and who they really are, on the inside.
In early 1994, I saw her for the first time.  That was in church.  When I saw her I found her to be stunningly beautiful!  As the years have passed my feelings have grown deeper for her because of obvious reasons.  We have shared a charmed life.  Part of that, I believe, is because we try to be normal people.  The world doesn't know us and in our own society we are just like everybody else, just trying to live good and honorable lives.
Becky, I love you!  I will spend my life trying to be the person that you are.  Thank you for all that you do to make life the blessing that it truly is.

Space for Opitimism

Mrs. Gonzalez was a woman in her mid to late sixties.  She was gentle by nature and ultra patient with her kindergarten class, especially me.  I had a difficult time sitting still.  What I really mean is remaining still whether I was sitting, standing or probably even while I was crawling on the mat that taught us the various shapes and colors.  She did love me and I could feel her love.  Because she loved me so much I think that when she got to the point when she could no longer stand for my behavior she kindly invited me to go pay a visit to Dr. Johansen, the principal.  In the beginning, I was scared to go to his office.  After my initial visit I quickly learned that he was a kind man.  Looking back on that time I realize that he was very good at his job and he loved the kids, no doubt about it!  Dr. Johansen would spend about ten minutes visiting with me about the ins and outs of the over-the-top life of a kindergarten student.  He would always end with, "are you ready to go back to class and be quiet for rest of the day?"  I agreed each time and quickly returned to class attempting to do better.  There was something else I did that really bothered Mrs. Gonzalez.  My penmanship was atrocious!  I can still hear the gentleness in her voice as she would plead with me to take a little more time on my writing.  My intention was good but when it came time to actually write, I would speed my way through the simple writing exercise.  After about a dozen times of kindly asking me to do better and many papers returned to me from being graded with red marks indicating what I had done wrong, I finally received a paper that had a hand-written message at the top of the paper.  In perfect penmanship were written the two clear words at the top of the page..."Good spaces!"  On this particular paper, my teacher had decided to point out something positive hoping that this strategy might impact my decision to actually want to improve.  The spacing I had used between the letters I had written was good, a finger width apart from each other.
All of these years later, I find a great deal of wisdom in her approach.
There is a pure lesson to be learned here.  No matter what the situation is, there is always something positive to be found.  Mrs. Gonzalez taught me that value as a kindergarten student and I have thought about that lesson many times since. 
Her optimistic attitude instilled in me the confidence to be a better writer.  
Now the desire to have good penmanship has stuck, thanks to a loving teacher who cared enough to take the time to point out something to me that I had done good.  I will be thankful to her forever!

Unity will Prevail

I had a conversation, this morning, with a man that I know very well.  His heart was troubled and I knew it when I first saw him.  I asked him if he had enjoyed a nice extended Christmas break.  He stood silently without saying much.  I knew what the answer was.  I asked him what was troubling him.  He began to tell me some of the things that were weighing heavily on his mind.
I perfectly understand that everyone of us has those moments when things that would normally be good seem to bother us.  Because I know how my friend feels today I decided to lend a listening ear without offering a single bit of advice.  He talked for a half hour and seemed relieved to just sputter his frustrations.
I will tell you that much of his frustration comes from the lack of being able to feel unified in his immediate family relations.
Early on in our marriage, Becky and I decided that we wanted to be unified together on everything that we did, with each other.  That didn't mean that we couldn't continue to have our own personalities.  We had the sincere desire to be ONE.  Now, I understand that for some people that means that some difficult obstacles have to be overcome.  I see that as overcoming oneself for the benefit of the couple.
My friend has been married to the same woman for many years and they are still trying to overcome their own selves in order to find the oneness that they hope will come.
In this station of my life I feel grateful to share life with a woman who desires to have OUR life together.  My heart hurts today for my friend who longs for a life together but still must overcome some things for himself.
Our family should be the most important unit of association that we have. 
I was taught as a young boy, from parents who loved me a great deal, that a person should not ever do or say something that would be harmful to somebody that they profess to love the very most.  That statement feels as true today as the day that it was taught to me.  We need to strive to cement our family relationships into those filled with unity!