Band of Brothers

I love real life stories.  I've got a really good one to share with you.  More than twenty years have passed but the experience is still very clear in my mind. 

Danny was a typical young boy with a whole life ahead of him.  My younger brother became close friends with Danny.  Sometime after these two boys became friends, Danny had some medical problems that plagued his young body and some required surgical procedures needed to happen.  During ensuing weeks and months Danny's condition worsened and his problems eventually caused him to be paralyzed from the neck down.  Everything that Danny had once been able to do for himself now required the constant help of somebody else. 

Danny was hospitalized for awhile in the Oakland, California area for several months.  Machines were attached to him all of the time to keep him alive. 

An idea was devised by some boys, who were Danny's friends, and their church leaders to go and visit him each Sunday at the hospital in Oakland.  The drive from Sacramento to see him took about one hour and a half each way.  All who participated were thrilled by the opportunity to see their friend.  Every week there was at least one adult leader and two or three boys who traveled to the hospital to visit Danny.  Their visits were normally thirty minutes or less but the love that they took with them was uplifting to Danny's spirit.  I went on two different occasions and I was amazed at the happiness that these simple visits brought to this young boy.  His eyes would shine as we entered the room.  I was older than Danny but my heart was touched for the honor that it was for me to go and help brighten his day in a very small way.

He eventually came home but his body was always assisted by a machine.  Life was difficult to say the least.  Danny was the oldest child so his parents not only had him to care for but also other younger siblings.  He was wheelchair bound but learned to operate the wheelchair with a wand that he moved using his chin.  My brother and Danny became best friends. 

The Junior High School where they attended had a day where kids could dress up as twins.  Yep, you guessed it.  These two boys were twins in wheelchairs.  Over the next little while Danny's condition worsened until he passed away.

That was a sad day for many different reasons.  The greatest, of course, was that Danny was going to be missed by all of the people who had grown to love him through selfless service.

Although there have been many years that have passed since Danny was alive I can't help but think of the small window of time when several boys and their adult leaders combined their utmost love for the one brother that needed them the very most.  Their actions defined the essence of love and compassion from one brother to another.

We are presented with the same opportunity.  We can help to lift the burdens of those around us.  Be that person who gives a smile to someone who doesn't seem to have anything to smile about.  Be that ray of hope for someone who seems to have lost everything.  Our combined efforts will no doubt make for a brighter tomorrow.

Touched by an Angel

In the forty years of my life I have felt privileged to live in a fairy tale.  It doesn't mean that everything always goes the way that I hope it will but life is full of promise and there is fulfillment in abundance.
My focus today, as part of my fairy tale belongs to my wife Becky.  For seventeen years, she has brought countless smiles to my face on many different occasions.  She has seen me in the best of times and in the worst.  She shares in life's greatest accomplishments.  I believe that she was present when I got as angry as I can imagine getting (although the anger was not toward her or any of our children).  She was there when I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe.  She is my greatest fan when it comes to trying something new (Yes, this blog counts, too).  We stick together on the decisions we make and the things that we do.
For those of you who know Becky will understand, in a small way, some of the things that I know about her.  Her actions in life are the literal definition of compassion.  There isn't anything that is helpful that she wouldn't do for another human being.  I have watched with amazement as she tends to the needs of those whose heads hang low with all of life's challenges.  Her eyes to help another seem to naturally gravitate to people and their needs, not what a person's status is in society.  I firmly believe that there isn't anyone that could intimidate her.  She is all about people and who they really are, on the inside.
In early 1994, I saw her for the first time.  That was in church.  When I saw her I found her to be stunningly beautiful!  As the years have passed my feelings have grown deeper for her because of obvious reasons.  We have shared a charmed life.  Part of that, I believe, is because we try to be normal people.  The world doesn't know us and in our own society we are just like everybody else, just trying to live good and honorable lives.
Becky, I love you!  I will spend my life trying to be the person that you are.  Thank you for all that you do to make life the blessing that it truly is.

Space for Opitimism

Mrs. Gonzalez was a woman in her mid to late sixties.  She was gentle by nature and ultra patient with her kindergarten class, especially me.  I had a difficult time sitting still.  What I really mean is remaining still whether I was sitting, standing or probably even while I was crawling on the mat that taught us the various shapes and colors.  She did love me and I could feel her love.  Because she loved me so much I think that when she got to the point when she could no longer stand for my behavior she kindly invited me to go pay a visit to Dr. Johansen, the principal.  In the beginning, I was scared to go to his office.  After my initial visit I quickly learned that he was a kind man.  Looking back on that time I realize that he was very good at his job and he loved the kids, no doubt about it!  Dr. Johansen would spend about ten minutes visiting with me about the ins and outs of the over-the-top life of a kindergarten student.  He would always end with, "are you ready to go back to class and be quiet for rest of the day?"  I agreed each time and quickly returned to class attempting to do better.  There was something else I did that really bothered Mrs. Gonzalez.  My penmanship was atrocious!  I can still hear the gentleness in her voice as she would plead with me to take a little more time on my writing.  My intention was good but when it came time to actually write, I would speed my way through the simple writing exercise.  After about a dozen times of kindly asking me to do better and many papers returned to me from being graded with red marks indicating what I had done wrong, I finally received a paper that had a hand-written message at the top of the paper.  In perfect penmanship were written the two clear words at the top of the page..."Good spaces!"  On this particular paper, my teacher had decided to point out something positive hoping that this strategy might impact my decision to actually want to improve.  The spacing I had used between the letters I had written was good, a finger width apart from each other.
All of these years later, I find a great deal of wisdom in her approach.
There is a pure lesson to be learned here.  No matter what the situation is, there is always something positive to be found.  Mrs. Gonzalez taught me that value as a kindergarten student and I have thought about that lesson many times since. 
Her optimistic attitude instilled in me the confidence to be a better writer.  
Now the desire to have good penmanship has stuck, thanks to a loving teacher who cared enough to take the time to point out something to me that I had done good.  I will be thankful to her forever!

Unity will Prevail

I had a conversation, this morning, with a man that I know very well.  His heart was troubled and I knew it when I first saw him.  I asked him if he had enjoyed a nice extended Christmas break.  He stood silently without saying much.  I knew what the answer was.  I asked him what was troubling him.  He began to tell me some of the things that were weighing heavily on his mind.
I perfectly understand that everyone of us has those moments when things that would normally be good seem to bother us.  Because I know how my friend feels today I decided to lend a listening ear without offering a single bit of advice.  He talked for a half hour and seemed relieved to just sputter his frustrations.
I will tell you that much of his frustration comes from the lack of being able to feel unified in his immediate family relations.
Early on in our marriage, Becky and I decided that we wanted to be unified together on everything that we did, with each other.  That didn't mean that we couldn't continue to have our own personalities.  We had the sincere desire to be ONE.  Now, I understand that for some people that means that some difficult obstacles have to be overcome.  I see that as overcoming oneself for the benefit of the couple.
My friend has been married to the same woman for many years and they are still trying to overcome their own selves in order to find the oneness that they hope will come.
In this station of my life I feel grateful to share life with a woman who desires to have OUR life together.  My heart hurts today for my friend who longs for a life together but still must overcome some things for himself.
Our family should be the most important unit of association that we have. 
I was taught as a young boy, from parents who loved me a great deal, that a person should not ever do or say something that would be harmful to somebody that they profess to love the very most.  That statement feels as true today as the day that it was taught to me.  We need to strive to cement our family relationships into those filled with unity!

What about a stranger?

My dad asked me if I wanted to take a day off from school and spend some time, just he and I, in downtown Sacramento.  Off course, I jumped all over the chance to miss a day of school.  I really was excited to spend some time with my dad.  You need to know that I was sixteen at the time.  We walked around the "old" part of Sacramento.  The city of Sacramento has made it really nice and there are fun stores and shops to look in.  We went down by the edge of the river that meanders its way through that part of town.  At lunchtime, dad suggested that we go get a bite to eat.  As we approached Burger King, I could see a homeless man up ahead.  He had strategically placed himself outside of Burger King hoping to get someone to help him.  I could see that he was clearly homeless by the look of his tattered clothing and the bottom of his feet were completely black with filth.  The thoughts in my young mind were unkind as we got closer to the man.  His eyes screamed desperation and my heart was closed to help him.  My dad, however, was different.  With a soft voice the man pleaded, "Sir, can you help me?"  My dad being the compassionate person that he is invited the man to come and eat with us.  Bear with me as I tell you how disgusted I was at the time.  My dad wasn't just giving some money to help the man, he just invited this filthy man to come into Burger King and eat with us.  Dad opened the door for this stranger and I.  The smell from the filth was hard to take and I wondered if I was hungry at all.  The three of us approached the front of the store where we would place our order.  I looked over at my dad who didn't seem the least bit embarrassed by the situation.  I couldn't stand the thought of what was really happening.  We got our food and found a spot where we could sit down.  "Where are you from?"  my dad asked the homeless man.  His answer came quietly.  A conversation began between the man and my compassionate father.  I listened trying very hard to not have to be a part.  I learned a lot from the man as he spoke of sadness and misfortune that played out in his life.  I learned the most by listening to the true love that dad displayed for this man.  We finished our lunch and walked out of Burger King.  "Is there anything else I can help you with?"  dad asked.  I will never forget the look in the man's eyes as the desperation in his eyes lessened because someone had taken the time to love him and listen to him. 
The man walked away and my sixteen year old heart was changed.  I had learned something..  First, my dad took the time to want to be with me.  Second, my dad had helped someone without giving a second thought to their situation.  Third, what my dad taught me that day would be valuable for me to help someone later down the road.
The challenge is that you never give a second thought to how somebody looks or acts because that person might be the individual that you end up loving the very most.

I have finally mustered up enough courage to join the blogger world.  For the past little while I have had the desire to share with other people at least one positive thing each day.  We all know what it feels like to be bombarded with the negativity that surrounds life.  So...without further adieu, let me begin.

2012, holds the opportunity for all of us to seize every moment of the day and make the very most out of every situation.  Yes, that means every situation whether good or bad.

Last year, a funny thing happened at our home.  It was funny after the initial shock and stress.  Becky and I were visiting in the living room of our home when a loud gun shot type sound startled us.  I looked out the front window to see our oldest son in a picturesque golf back swing with a look of horror on his face.  In a moment I realized that he had driven a golf ball through the side window of our van.  He continued to look at the mess that he found himself in.  My gut hurt as I thought about the cost of a new window.  The whole thing sent Becky into complete laughter.  My heart raced as I replayed the conversation between he and I where I had clearly asked that he not ever hit the golf ball in the front yard.  Yep, you got it!  Mistake #1.  What was I thinking.  What must a boy do with a driver in one hand and a golf ball in the other, just stand there at look at them?  The minutes that passed were the funniest of all once Becky reminded me of the blessing of auto insurance.  Brady was mesmerized by the crackling of the glass.  He sat on the lawn and watched.  Before long he retrieved a lawn chair to watch the action in comfort.  Next, came a soda.  Who needs a sporting event when you can watch the action of shattered glass.  I learned a valuable lesson.  It was just a window.  Another important lesson I learned was that if I ever want an entertaining family activity, I just needed to buy a sheet of glass with the intent to shatter it.

You might wonder what my point really is with this.  A young girl taught us a valuable lesson some years ago.  Do you remember the girl who was fighting a battle with cancer of her own.  She decided that a lemonade stand would help to fund the costs that would incur with the terrible illness.  That lemonade stand generated a lot of money and the attention from the local media helped bring business to this young girl's fight.

As a young married man, I was taught a positive lesson.  One evening I made the statement to Becky that she made me really mad.  Without hesitation she taught me a lesson I have never forgotten.  "You are choosing to be mad, I don't make you do anything."  I admit that her statement ticked me off a bit, but as I thought about her wisdom I soon realized that I was the person who had control over the things that I did and the way that I felt.

You and I have control over whether life is good or bad.  Everybody has bumps along the path of life.  Let it be today that you choose to make the most out of every situation.  You'll be glad you did!

This year promises to be remarkable!