Do You Ever Feel Confused?

Experience is a great way to learn the lessons of life that help invite progression to be a part.  I can't begin to calculate in the forty years of life, how many different decisions I've had to make.  Those of you who are older than I have that many more.  In the decision-making process, there are times when confusion dominates and makes the process more difficult. 
I want to discuss two aspects that have helped me in decreasing the confusion that I feel.
First. Everything in life has something to do with somebody else.  During a tough time, have you found yourself thinking about how a particular decision will benefit you?  Our weak human minds tend to think that way.  I am a firm believer in creating a mechanism in yourself that automatically switches to a different way of thinking and thinks of others before yourself.  Now some of you are thinking, "What, I can't ever do anything that I want to do?"  No, that is not what I'm saying.  If you want a true compromise to exist, then 'I' cannot be anywhere in your thinking.  If it is, then there is an increased probability that problems will eventually creep in.
Second.  Communicate, communicate, and then do it some more.  Before you roll your eyes, I want you to think about a time when proper communication helped to quickly resolve a situation that would have otherwise taken a very long time and a lot of expended energy. 
When Becky and I were quite sure that we were done having children after Brady, which is kid #3.  We wrestled with the finality that would come if we moved forward with a permanent surgical procedure.  Becky's health wasn't the best and we had three wonderful children that we adored.  We talked about it constantly but seemed convinced that three was the magic number for our family.  No matter how much we talked, the topic never left our minds.  Now keep in mind that we were young and the older we have become the easier it is to see that when you can't stop thinking about something, it normally means that the decision has some 'holes' in it.  It wasn't until we enhanced our circle of communication and included our Heavenly Father in it, that we realized that there was another baby that would come to our family.  We are richly blessed to have Danny as our last child and what a joy he is!
Becky and I humbled ourselves enough to think of others that would be effected outside of just her and I.  We communicated extensively over this important decision that pertained to our family.  In the end, we were blessed abundantly.  There are other things that you can do but the implentation of these two things has helped me many times over.
Personal experience is invaluable.

Keep It Simple

When I was in the Netherlands, I would awaken early in the morning and during the summer months I would read and study out on the back porch. I would look at the surrounding tulip fields and feel so blessed for the beauty that those flowers offered me. One particular morning I could see something move in my periphery. I looked to the side and saw a large, beautiful spider web. Toward the center of the web was a large spider. I became curious of this spider because of it's intriquette workmanship. I watched it for several minutes as it spun a much larger web than already existed. It's movements were eloquent. I continued my studying, every once in a while peeking over to see it's progress. The next morning, I went out to the porch in anticipation to see the spider. It was there and still hard at work.
Some time ago, I was taught a lesson about spider webs and my mind raced back to Holland. I found this lesson a good one and I want to share it with you. The man stated that our lives are much like a spider web. In many instances, we have over-scheduled ourselves and now that there are so many 'strands' involved, we get stuck in the web unable to break through the stress that our business has created.
I could see that large web in my mind and the hundreds of strands that forked in every direction. I remember the sight of an imprisoned fly as it inadvertantly flew into the web. When it stuck, it was only moments until the spider 'mummied' up the fly and prepared it for later consumption.
I watch as people become so busy and stressed that the activities of life overtake and destroy the things in their families that were once solid and immoveable.
If your life seems like a spider web, simplify and better manage the day-to-day facets. The relief of stress will allow the beauty of your life to return and a feeling of normalcy will again prevail.

An Important Part Of Love Is Touch

The reality is that not everyone is a 'toucher'. Because I was raised by parents who show their affection, no matter where they are, it is just a part of every day life. Our children are being raised in the same sort of way because Becky was also raised in a family similar to mine. I hope that you'll listen and consider what I'm talking about.
The sense of touch is a bonding type of sense. I clearly remember times in my life when I would awaken in the middle of the night feeling very ill. It was during those times that I wanted the touch of my mom to help make me feel better. As a young boy, she would hold me and rock me in the old wooden rocking chair. There was no better feeling in the world. Our children have all had that same experience.
As a grown man, I long for the touch of my sweet wife when things don't go quite how I hoped they would go. In the rare times that I'm sick, her touch is the healing power that I need. To hold Becky's hand is both comforting and soothing to my heart and soul.
I recall a conversation I had with a friend, a number of years ago. He was going through a particularly hard time. This time even took a toll on his marriage. He told me that the problems in his marriage came as a result of no affection being shown by his wife while he was going through this tough time. He didn't mean anything sexual he just said there was never even a hug or a kiss that would clearly show her willingness to empathize with him. Her attitude seemed to be to just toughen up and deal with the problems that he faced. There is a certain amount of truth to that philosophy too. I hurt for my friend because I receive sincere affection from my wife, every single day.
Our children need us to touch them so that they can feel our love. I believe that touch is an integral part of our existance.

They Deserve

There are articles in our nation's newspapers and the news stations cover stories that involve the mistreating of children.  The thought came to my mind as I was sitting in church that our children deserve to be treated in a respectful and kind way.  I understand that they need to be talked to sternly in appropriate times to get their attention.  I am talking about the abusive behavior that some people display because they want their children to do it 'their way'. 
I have mentioned, in the past, that I was raised in a loving home where structure was apparent and expected.  My mom and dad cared deeply about one another.  I knew what the expectations were and I tried my best to adhere to those. My siblings would see it in another light, I'm sure.)  I was never verbally or physically abused in any way. 
I read about a boy who was asked to pen on paper his experience at home.  He talked about the many things about his upbringing; those were touching.  The key part of his writing was the unity of his mom and dad.  Because they were together, it brought unity to the entire family.
Our children deserve the best we can give them.  They thrive on love.  Don't let a day go by where you tell them that you love them.  More importantly is that you show them that you love them.  I know that we all can do it.  It will bring about the unity that a lot of families strive to have.

Of Course It's A Kid That Makes Me Smile

I forgot to tell you about the young man I saw at the St. Louis Cardinals' baseball game.  This boy looked to be between ten and twelve years old.  He particularly caught my attention because he rode in a motorized wheel chair.  He was able to operate the chair with his right hand.  He was a very good driver, I might add.  I wondered what his story was and what his current condition was and what the future would hold for him.  The striking part about this boy was the smile he wore on his face.  His father, I assume, walked next to his as the passed by me.  Without being an obnoxious 'stareball' I watched he and his dad for a few moments longer.  Their interaction was cute and there was no doubt of their love for one another.
I feel extremely blessed because of the people all around me in this world.  I don't know most of the people but their situations are all so different.  What a blessing it is to have people who hit their challenges 'head-on' and strive to do the best that they can for the specific situation that they call, their life.
Sunday brings me great comfort.  I try to make it a day that is noticeably different from all other days of the week.  It is a valuable time to spend with our family and to feel of each other's love.  I want to be a good example of a follower of Jesus Christ.  I want to be a person who takes my situation, of a great life, and help bless the lives of other people.  I want to be like the young man at the ball game who smiled in his own circumstances and in turn blessed my life for good.  It is my sincere desire to be all that I can be and help those whose heads hang low.  There are blessings all about us and I know that our Heavenly Father will bless those who bless my life...there are many who do.

Attitude Is Our Way To Control

I had a conversation with a man who told me about a young woman who he knows that is pregnant.  A bit of bad news came to this young woman and her husband that the baby she is carrying has some serious problems.  It caused me to think about life and the various things that we all experience.  My mind raced as I thought about the miracle of having children, even with the reality of knowing that many things can go 'wrong' during the development of a baby. 
Because there are so many things that are out of our control, in life, it becomes increasingly important to remain upbeat and optimistic. 
I shared several hours with a person who is a complete 'downer'.  I am grateful that I don't think or act that way.  It is difficult to be around a person who thinks and acts that way.
I am personally committed to being the type of person that when others are around me, they feel hopeful.  There is a lot to be said about optimism in every facet of life.
As for this young expecting mom and dad, their hope must be anchored on faith and trust that God will help them in the days and weeks ahead.  That needs to be the focus of our every day life.  Faith, hope, trust, humility.  Those are a few of the characteristics that when practiced and implemented into our own lives will help through the various challenges that we will surely face.  The other things that are in our control need to be done methodically and correctly so that our focus can be primarily placed on the obstacles that lie in front of us. 
The hopeful will always fall back on the positive.  Life is good!  Even in adversity, life is good!

Seems Like Just The Other Day

I attended a wedding reception of a newly married couple.  The bride is the youngest daughter of one of our friends.  I watched the bride and groom very carefully as we stood in the wedding line to greet them.  I watched how they treated each other and the way they interacted.  I was pleasantly pleased with their love and affection for one another.  I must say that I am 'picky' when it comes to how couples treat one another.
Let me share an example of something that has bothered me in the past and continues to do so.  Becky and I have attended weddings and there is excitement all about and the celebration of the wedding is a lot of fun.  The time comes for the cutting of the cake.  I hold my breath every time wondering if the cake portion is going to be a part of the celebration or a nightmare I wish would never happen.  You probably know what I'm going to say.  Yep, you got it.  If the wedding day is one of the greatest days in a person's life, and it's the day when the bride gets to look beautiful and the groom gets all spiffed up to look handsome, then why in the world would either a man or woman smash and smear cake and icing all over their new spouse's face?  I haven't been able to figure that out.  There isn't an explanation that someone can give me that will justify or convince me that there is anything funny or entertaining about that sort of behavior.
Now back to this wedding reception tonight.  There was complete love, gentleness, and, above all, respect for each other as husband and wife. 
It made me very happy to be a small part of their day.  I am grateful for respect and the important role that it plays in all of our lives.  I want to be known as someone who cares enough about myself and others as it pertains to showing respect...no matter what!
It seems like just the other day that Becky and I were starting our life together.  I'm grateful that she has treated me like a million bucks.  My single greatest desire is to treat her the very best that I can on any given day.   It makes life enjoyable.  I love you more than you will ever really know.  Thanks Beck!