Taking The Time

There are some things in life that are fascinating to watch.  As a young boy, I would watch my dad tie his tie as he readied to go to church.  I was always amazed at how fast he could tie his tie. 

I still remember the day he taught me and my brother how to tie our ties.  Each of us had the tie we were going to wear around our neck and my brother and I watched and copied.  That is a memorable experience for me. 

I have shared that same experience with our two sons.  Brady is eleven and Danny is eight.  Both boys can tie a beautiful double Windsor knot!

I was missionary companions with a young man who was never taught to tie a tie.  His father tied his ties before he left on his mission and for the first eight months of his mission, all of his ties had stayed exactly how his father had tied them.  One of the pieces of instruction that my dad gave us boys was that part of taking care of a tie is the undoing of it when you are done wearing it.  Yep, you guessed it, I took the opportunity to teach my companion the proper care of his ties.  I untied each tie.  He was a little upset until I told him that I was going to teach him how to tie a tie, just like my dad had taught me.  So he and I grabbed the tie we were going to wear and together we tied until my companion knew how to tie his own tie.  He was pleased and so was I.

This seems like a very insignificant thing but for my dad to take the time to teach me how to do something that I would need for the rest of my life, is significant.

Whether it is tie tying, cooking, shooting hoop, taking the time to visit with somebody or helping someone do their yard work, the time that is spent to help someone else is priceless.

Take a moment today to do something for somebody else that lets them know how much they mean to you.  You'll be glad you did.

My Family

When I think about the greatest things in my life, my wife and children are at the very top.  I have been blessed with such a wonderful opportunity to be in love with a woman who enriches my life. As a young boy I would watch my parents, very closely, with the hope of one day being able to enjoy what they did.  The teenage years rolled around and I dated a few girls and got to feel what it was like to 'be in love.'  I really had no idea what being in love really was but I felt like I was in love anyway. 
I moved to Utah at the end of February 1994 and met Becky for the first time, at church.  We dated for several months and eventually married in November of that year.
We have been richly blessed with four children who are trying as hard as any four kids on earth to be the best that they can be!  I love the effort that they give to being good solid people.  They are also imperfect and learn various lessons of life each and every day.  I am thankful for that.
Let me share something personal about each one of them to give you an idea of the feelings I have.
Becky is solid in her conviction to do what is right.  She knows what she wants and she works very hard to go after her dreams.  She is the definition of compassion.  I have learned in the past several years that she is a visionary.  She sees things very well.  If something needs to be built, she can see the end product before the project has even begun.  I love that about her.  She loves to be a mom and she treats our children with  utmost respect.  She builds me up and focuses on the positive.  She has always taken pride in how she looks.  I think she is pretty and she believes that caring about how she looks makes her feel better about herself all the way around.  I love her with all of my heart!
Natalie takes after her mother in many ways.  She has many gifts and talents.  She is comfortable in her own skin.  Nat is a hard worker.  From the time she was a little girl, Nat has shot for the stars.  There isn't anything she doesn't believe she can master.  I remember when she approached me about trying out for the girl's basketball team in seventh grade.  I have to admit I wasn't the most confident in her skills but I didn't tell her that.  You have to understand that she couldn't even dribble the ball that well.  So we went to work out on the driveway and I told her that she needed to know how to dribble the basketball with both hands before we would go any further with the instruction.  I went into the house and she worked for more than an hour to master that skill.  She came in and told me that she was ready for more instruction.  To my surprise, she had learned.  We worked on the other skills of basketball and she ultimately made the team.  She is a devoted friend and a wonderful daughter!
Laurel is our snugglebug.  If we ever need a hug Lol is up for it at any time.  She is energetic and loves to have a great time.  She is an extremely hard worker who doesn't quit until the job is done.  Lol and I are very much alike.  That is fun to watch.  Laurel is a good friend and has the desire to choose the right.  She is talented and loves to learn.  She works hard to excel in school and her hard work definitely pays off.  She is talented with music.  I love to listen to her play the piano.  She looks pretty when she plays. 
Brady is our gentle kid.  He has a sincere desire to choose the right.  I've always been grateful that he a is an easy-going type because he is big and strong.  He doesn't like contention and he is a protector of the underdog.  He loves to be active.  His mind never stops thinking and the only time he isn't talking is when he is asleep. (Sometimes he does talk in his sleep.)  One of my favorite things about Brady is that he is affectionate with Becky and I.  He is an easy person to love and like.  I'm grateful to be his dad.
Now, Danny is the perfect kid to bring up the rear of our family. We thought that we were done having kids after Brady was born but then realized that there was another kid that was to be a part of our family. He brings us so much joy! Danny really loves to spend time with his mom. Whenever Becky is gone, Danny will ask where she is and when she will be home. I'm grateful that our kids look up to their mom.  He is a great thinker.  I have been amazed, since he was a little boy, that he can look at something that needs to be solved and he can think it out and figure out how it works.  The key to that is that he is unafraid of making a mistake.  There isn't anything that he won't figure out.  Just give him time. 
Becky and I joke constantly that we were blessed with four kids, all of which are bossy.  I think that the correct word would be independent and sure of themselves.  I thank heaven, everyday, that we don't have to worry about prying one of our kids out of a corner because they are too frightened to do anything. 
I love our family.  It is the greatest gift that I have been given. 
I hope that other people feel as fortunate as I do.  

You Are His Child

I attended a church meeting, last night, that got my mind thinking about the things in my life that are the most important.  I looked around the chapel of the church at all of the different people in attendance.  I looked closely at the different features of each individual person, both men and women.  The thought that kept entering my mind was that there is in fact a God who cares about each of us and all of the things that we experiencing.
I stood by the ocean in Holland and my companion and I watched the waves as they rolled methodically.  The organization of their movements was beautiful to watch.  I have spent my life, in different situations, watching the sun rise in the morning and then set in the evening.  I have watched the birth of our children and wondered how such a miracle could happen without there being a God to oversee such a life-altering event.
There is a God and He is the One who created you and me.  He loves us more than we will ever know.  We once lived with Him.  If we do the best that we can, we will return to live with Him again.  His Son, Jesus Christ, came to help make it possible for us to be with our Father again.  There is no other way but through Him.  I know that these are true principles.
We have a unique opportunity to live a life that is filled with challenges that stretch us and make us who we need to become.  I remember, clearly, a statement that my uncle made when my aunt was first diagnosed with cancer.  He said that the challenge of cancer would now allow them to show that they were the type of people that they had only talked about being.  Now it was time to practice what they preached.  They have been true champions!  Their family has been a great example to many people.
Each of us has control over the way we choose to live our lives.  The challenges come to the good and the bad.  We are trying to do the very best that we can and we have full trust that He will do His part.  He has never let us down. 

Spirit vs Letter

I know that there could be a whole debate about these two words but because of my intention to place a positive spin on everything I write, I hope to illustrate a simple point.
There were two young boys who had decided to go out on the town one Friday night.  These were good boys who were just out to have a good time.  The boys said that they would be home by midnight.  Their plan was executed perfect so that the boys would arrive home at just before their committed time.  On the way home, the boys encountered a flat tire.  This was pre-cell phone time so the boys knew that they would be late arriving home.  They fixed the flat tire on the side of the darkened highway.  They got home as fast as they could but were still late.  The two boys walked through the front door of the home of one of the boys.  The unhappy father of the one boy was awaiting the arrival of the two boys.  He was not very nice and I believe that he missed a great opportunity to reach out to his son and a friend.
Let me stop the story there. 
I vowed that night that if the experience ever happened to one of my kids that I would react much differently. 
We need to stop, take a deep breath, and then react in the very best way possible. 
I firmly believe that it is important to take into consideration something my own parents stated.  "There are no rules until you break them."  But since kids will still break rules, once in a while, trust still needs to be placed in them and second and third chances will allow them to learn and grow.  My parents were masters at allowing us kids to make many mistakes.  But the real key was that they didn't beat us up over them and then hold our mistakes against us.  Make a mistake, fix the mistake, and then move on with a smile on your face.  I am forever thankful for their wisdom.
Becky and I have given a lot of thought to making sure we trust our children and that we allow them some slack in the situations that they face.  In the eyes of our children, the best laid out plans don't always materialize the way they hope they will. 
They're not perfect...and neither are we!

You Never Know

While I was in Holland, my missionary companion and I were invited to go to a large theatre to enjoy Handel's Messiah.  The theatre was very large and from the very beginning of the production I felt like there was somebody watching us.  Throughout the production I looked around to see if I could figure out who it was that was watching us.  Toward the end I looked up and saw a young couple that we had met some days earlier.  When I saw them, they were looking right in our direction.  I waved to them and they waved back.  I sat in my seat and felt thankful that my companion and I were acting in a respectable manner.
There are other times in my life when I have had a similar situation occur but unfortunately I was not acting the way that I should have been.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, there is always someone watching to see how you will act in all different types of situations.
The words of my parents ring true.  "Remember who you are."  Those are words to live by and I try to do my very best to live up to that high expectation.  Minding your P's and Q's will always keep you out of trouble.  I'm not perfect but I am giving it my best shot.

A Child's Best Friend

I saw this story and thought it was appropriate since many experiences in our lives deal with the love of a pet.  Our family has been the recipient of love from a family pet.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith


We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand.. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies..’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by…
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,  God


It's been many years since we had our dog, Rascal.  He barked excessively and I didn't like him at all.  He knew that I didn't like him.  He loved Becky and she loved him in return. 
I was going to school during the day and working the evening shift.  One night I returned home from work at 12:30 AM.  I quietly walked into the back door and was greeted by Rascal, with his beard all messed up and sleepy eyes.  At that moment I knew that he loved me enough to awaken from a comfortable, dead sleep to spend some time with me.  Everyone else in the house was asleep and the house was completely quiet.  From that night on, when I got home, Rascal met me at the back door and stayed up with me until I went to bed. 
I am thankful for these animals that enrich our lives.  They become a big part of our families. 

We All Belong

I came home from work one afternoon.  As you turn into our neighborhood you pass a church.  In the parking lot of the church, I noticed a group of young kids walking home from school.  I watched them and realized that there was a group of kids beating up on another kid.  I pulled into the parking lot quickly and drove toward the group of kids.  The one kid was on the ground with his hands wrapped around his head and the other kids were around him taking their turns kicking.  I stopped the truck.  The kids turned and looked at me with expressions on their faces of complete innocence.  The lone kid on the ground pulled his hands from his head and looked upward with a look of relief on his face.  I asked the kids what was going on.  The loudest one of the bunch (the bully) tried to plead his case, while the rest of the kids remained silent.  I helped the kid being kicked to his feet.  I asked the bully if he was prepared to take a lickin' from this boy that he had been beating on.  Of course he didn't like that idea at all.  I sent the lone boy on his way home and kept the group behind.  It upset me that a group of kids would beat on one kid.  I voiced my frustration to them and asked them to please leave the boy alone unless they were prepared to go one on one with him.  I then sent them on their way.
When I was in seventh grade, I had the same thing happen to me.  It was only because of my now sister-in-law that I came out of that without a bloodied up face.  I was thankful that she was there that day for me.
I looked at our children, yesterday, and thought about how important each of them really are.  There shouldn't be any one individual that is being bullied by someone else.  In our youth it is all about popularity and jealousy that we find ourselves in less than good situations of picking on or bullying another.
I am trying to do those things that will positively influence those people around me.  My desire is that our children will want to do the same kinds of things. 
Becky has repeated this saying many times over to our children and I believe that it applies to everyone.  "It is easier to have friends than it is to have enemies."  I believe that statement with all of my heart. 
Our lives should be centered around making life for others as simple as it can be.  Our example of tolerance and acceptance might be one of the best things that our children see us do. 
I visited a man who some people might find quite odd.  I love this man a great deal because of his purity of heart.  It becomes apparent to me with each passing day that I need to forget about what a person may say or the way a person may act and focus on who a person really is.  Heaven only knows how crazy some people think I am. 
In the grand scheme of things, we are all very important!