Spirit vs Letter

I know that there could be a whole debate about these two words but because of my intention to place a positive spin on everything I write, I hope to illustrate a simple point.
There were two young boys who had decided to go out on the town one Friday night.  These were good boys who were just out to have a good time.  The boys said that they would be home by midnight.  Their plan was executed perfect so that the boys would arrive home at just before their committed time.  On the way home, the boys encountered a flat tire.  This was pre-cell phone time so the boys knew that they would be late arriving home.  They fixed the flat tire on the side of the darkened highway.  They got home as fast as they could but were still late.  The two boys walked through the front door of the home of one of the boys.  The unhappy father of the one boy was awaiting the arrival of the two boys.  He was not very nice and I believe that he missed a great opportunity to reach out to his son and a friend.
Let me stop the story there. 
I vowed that night that if the experience ever happened to one of my kids that I would react much differently. 
We need to stop, take a deep breath, and then react in the very best way possible. 
I firmly believe that it is important to take into consideration something my own parents stated.  "There are no rules until you break them."  But since kids will still break rules, once in a while, trust still needs to be placed in them and second and third chances will allow them to learn and grow.  My parents were masters at allowing us kids to make many mistakes.  But the real key was that they didn't beat us up over them and then hold our mistakes against us.  Make a mistake, fix the mistake, and then move on with a smile on your face.  I am forever thankful for their wisdom.
Becky and I have given a lot of thought to making sure we trust our children and that we allow them some slack in the situations that they face.  In the eyes of our children, the best laid out plans don't always materialize the way they hope they will. 
They're not perfect...and neither are we!

You Never Know

While I was in Holland, my missionary companion and I were invited to go to a large theatre to enjoy Handel's Messiah.  The theatre was very large and from the very beginning of the production I felt like there was somebody watching us.  Throughout the production I looked around to see if I could figure out who it was that was watching us.  Toward the end I looked up and saw a young couple that we had met some days earlier.  When I saw them, they were looking right in our direction.  I waved to them and they waved back.  I sat in my seat and felt thankful that my companion and I were acting in a respectable manner.
There are other times in my life when I have had a similar situation occur but unfortunately I was not acting the way that I should have been.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, there is always someone watching to see how you will act in all different types of situations.
The words of my parents ring true.  "Remember who you are."  Those are words to live by and I try to do my very best to live up to that high expectation.  Minding your P's and Q's will always keep you out of trouble.  I'm not perfect but I am giving it my best shot.

A Child's Best Friend

I saw this story and thought it was appropriate since many experiences in our lives deal with the love of a pet.  Our family has been the recipient of love from a family pet.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith


We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand.. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies..’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by…
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,  God


It's been many years since we had our dog, Rascal.  He barked excessively and I didn't like him at all.  He knew that I didn't like him.  He loved Becky and she loved him in return. 
I was going to school during the day and working the evening shift.  One night I returned home from work at 12:30 AM.  I quietly walked into the back door and was greeted by Rascal, with his beard all messed up and sleepy eyes.  At that moment I knew that he loved me enough to awaken from a comfortable, dead sleep to spend some time with me.  Everyone else in the house was asleep and the house was completely quiet.  From that night on, when I got home, Rascal met me at the back door and stayed up with me until I went to bed. 
I am thankful for these animals that enrich our lives.  They become a big part of our families. 

We All Belong

I came home from work one afternoon.  As you turn into our neighborhood you pass a church.  In the parking lot of the church, I noticed a group of young kids walking home from school.  I watched them and realized that there was a group of kids beating up on another kid.  I pulled into the parking lot quickly and drove toward the group of kids.  The one kid was on the ground with his hands wrapped around his head and the other kids were around him taking their turns kicking.  I stopped the truck.  The kids turned and looked at me with expressions on their faces of complete innocence.  The lone kid on the ground pulled his hands from his head and looked upward with a look of relief on his face.  I asked the kids what was going on.  The loudest one of the bunch (the bully) tried to plead his case, while the rest of the kids remained silent.  I helped the kid being kicked to his feet.  I asked the bully if he was prepared to take a lickin' from this boy that he had been beating on.  Of course he didn't like that idea at all.  I sent the lone boy on his way home and kept the group behind.  It upset me that a group of kids would beat on one kid.  I voiced my frustration to them and asked them to please leave the boy alone unless they were prepared to go one on one with him.  I then sent them on their way.
When I was in seventh grade, I had the same thing happen to me.  It was only because of my now sister-in-law that I came out of that without a bloodied up face.  I was thankful that she was there that day for me.
I looked at our children, yesterday, and thought about how important each of them really are.  There shouldn't be any one individual that is being bullied by someone else.  In our youth it is all about popularity and jealousy that we find ourselves in less than good situations of picking on or bullying another.
I am trying to do those things that will positively influence those people around me.  My desire is that our children will want to do the same kinds of things. 
Becky has repeated this saying many times over to our children and I believe that it applies to everyone.  "It is easier to have friends than it is to have enemies."  I believe that statement with all of my heart. 
Our lives should be centered around making life for others as simple as it can be.  Our example of tolerance and acceptance might be one of the best things that our children see us do. 
I visited a man who some people might find quite odd.  I love this man a great deal because of his purity of heart.  It becomes apparent to me with each passing day that I need to forget about what a person may say or the way a person may act and focus on who a person really is.  Heaven only knows how crazy some people think I am. 
In the grand scheme of things, we are all very important!

In the Comfort of Her Arms.

I have always had a loving relationship with my mom.  She has always been the epitome of a 'lady'.  She is very feminine.  She even throws like a girl!  I have always been grateful for the type of mom I have. 
When I was little, I would get earaches, periodically.  I remember being up in the middle of the night feeling like my head was going to explode.  The pain grew so intense that I needed to go get my mom (because moms can take away any kind of pain.)  I would awaken her and she would lovingly take care of the pain that I was experiencing.  There were many nights when mom would heat up olive oil and put that in my ears and then stick a cotton ball into my ear canal.  That gave me some relief.  Then, she would rock me to sleep in the old rocking chair.  I can remember how good she smelled.  Her touch was soothing.  I knew that she cared about me.  The greatest relief came from being in her arms.
I don't get earaches anymore but the aches that I feel, once in awhile, come in a different way.  Becky has stepped appropriately into the role as the one who brings relief to my soul.  There have been occasions when I knew that if I could just talk to her that things would be alright.  And they are! 
It doesn't matter who you are, the time does come when you need someone who you can trust, to take away the burdens that seem to weigh you down.
I have the great blessing of Becky and my mom.
After Natalie (our oldest) was born, Becky's mom came over to our apartment, during the day, to give her the help that she needed because she was a new mom.  I was a young inexperienced father who was overly confident in my excitement of fatherhood.  I figured that when I came home from work that my mother-in-law could then go home and I could pick up where she left off.  That didn't happen exactly like I had hoped it would.  (Mom is an absolute angel.)  I got home on the second day and went into the room where Becky was laying on the bed.  She asked how the day had gone and I began to cry.  To this day, I can't remember ever crying that hard in my life.  I didn't understand the importance that it was for Becky to have her mom there to help.  I was frustrated that I didn't feel like anyone could see that I was perfectly capable of running our household and taking care of my wife and our new baby daughter.  Feeling a bit frustrated, I called later that evening to spout off the frustration that I felt to my own mom.  As has always been the case, my mom heard me out, completely.  There was silence on the other end of the phone.  "Becky needs her mom."  I was missing the most important part of the whole scenario, my wife needed her mom.  I am grateful that my mom spoke the words that I needed to hear the very most.  I needed to allow Becky to have her mom there.  I just didn't understand.  It will be a great blessing for Becky to be there when our daughters have children of their own and I hope that their husbands see that need better than I did.
Especially when I was young, I needed the comfort from within the arms of my mom.  I am grateful that I have a sweet woman that gives me the comfort that I need, in her arms. 

You Have To Go Now

There was a young married couple who lived in our neighborhood.  They seemed to be content with their life together.  The man traveled quite often for his employment.  Some things happened in their marriage and soon after we heard that they were getting a divorce.  The man moved out of the house and the woman began to set up the life she would have on her own. 
I was over at one of our friend's house and noticed that a truck was in the driveway that I hadn't seen for a long time.  The closer I looked, I realized that the truck in the driveway, next door, belonged to the man that had divorced his wife some months before.  I didn't think much about it, at the time.  I went to bed that evening and suddenly began to get an unsettled feeling about the truck being at that house.  The longer I lay in bed the stronger the impression got that I should go and check out the situation.  I finally sat up on the edge of the bed.  Becky asked if everything was alright with me.  I told her what I was feeling and expressed to her that I needed to go check on the home and make sure everything was fine.  She agreed.  The biggest dilemma for me was that it was late and I didn't want to be inconsiderate to anyone.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I called my friend, who lived next door to the house I was concerned about, to see if he would go check on the house with me.  Of course, he was more than willing to do it.  We walked up to the door and knocked.  We waited for a minute and then the door opened.  It was the young woman who lived there.  We could tell that she had been crying because her eyes were tear-stained.  I asked if everything was okay.  She hesitated briefly.  With her hesitation I knew that something was wrong.  A man called out her name.  The woman turned around away from us as if she was scared.  I recognized the voice of the man.  "Brian."  I inquired.  The young woman immediately opened the door wide.  Brian seemed surprised to see my friend and I at the door.  "Is everything alright?"  I asked.  "What are you doing here?"  Was my next question.  We were invited into the house.  We stood there in the entry way and visited for a few minutes.  The situation seemed heated and uncomfortable between the young couple.  We asked the man if he could please get what he needed and then get going.  He said that he would.  When we knew that all was calm, we left to go back to our homes.  As we left the house, my friend and I talked about our visit.  We hoped and prayed that things would be alright with this couple.
I got home and felt good about the decision to go and check. 
My dad has taught me on many occasions that when I get an impression, no matter if its big or small, I should act on it immediately. 
I was grateful that I had finally acted on the feeling I had gotten.  None of us will ever know why we get the feelings we get sometimes.  I'm thankful on that night, long ago, that I listened and acted.

Soul Search

I am going to take the liberty to spend my time writing something that is more spiritually minded, on Sunday.  I believe that my faith is not just a part of who I am, rather, it is who I am.
On Friday, I was listening to some music on my friend's IPOD.  One of the selections was a rendition of "Silent Night" performed by David Archuleta.  I know what you're thinking, Christmas is over, but it just felt like a good song to listen to, in the moment.  I listened carefully to its lyrics and was physically moved by its message.
Many years have passed since that world-changing event when the baby Jesus came to this earth.  That event continues to stir up daily feelings in my heart. 
Each of us needs a 'silent night' of our own once in a while.  We need to pause and reflect on the things in our lives that make us cheer as well as the things that trouble our hearts. 
I worked at my work bench and silently thanked my Heavenly Father for His kindness to me and my family.  I began to run through the large list of things for which I am most grateful.  I thought about certain individuals that could especially use my friendship to help them through difficult challenges that they currently face.  I thought about the gratitude I feel for my parents who are currently out of the country enjoying some time of vacation with one another.  My mind raced at the wonderful opportunities I am given, on a daily basis, to touch some body's heart for good.  
These silent moments give us all a chance to reflect and ponder about the things that are the most important.
I have a man who I haven't seen or even thought about for nearly twenty years.  The memory of working with him suddenly came into my mind. He had some severe disabilities and yet his work ethic never wavered.  He showed me what it was like to give his employer a fair day's work.  I watched him treat his co-workers with respect.  I watched his enthusiasm in an effort to make people smile.  His spirit lifted mine whenever I was around him.  I wondered silently, "what ever happened to James?"  The positive impact he had on my life is still alive.
I encourage you to take the moments of reflection so that you can have your heart lifted just as mine has been.  My moment just happened to be the remembrance of one of the greatest nights ever known to mankind. 
Your opportunity to reflect may be different than mine but just as important in nature.  Enjoy the moments as they come, for they will help to shape you into the person you are supposed to become.